Page 135 of Heartfelt Pain
She peers over the railings and I shuffle forward in my oversized jacket. I’ve pulled the hood up, and I don’t care how much of an asshole I look like. Elijah would say I’ve done the whole state of New York wrong by how much I’m struggling, but I can’t help it.
“I’m meant for the beach,” I tell Ren, grabbing onto her. If she falls overboard, I’m screwed. There’s no way I’m surviving the cold water if I jump in after her.
Ren shakes off my hand and leans forward again.
“What are you looking for?” I ask.
“Whales.”
My teeth start chattering. “I can YouTube some of those for you.”
“That’s the silliest thing I’ve ever heard.”
“Let’s go back to the room,” I beg.
“Just a little longer,” she says. “It’s really not that bad.”
“I’m going to die of hypothermia.”
“You haven’t fallen into the water.”
I pull her back from the railing, to ensure we don’t.
“Have you ever seen videos of Drake’s Passage?” she asks. “In Antarctica.”
Oh, dear lord.
“I’m picking the next vacation and we’re going to the beach.”
“To the beach?” She tilts her head up, cold air frosting her face. She smiles, enjoying every moment.
“Yes, the beach.” Fiji.
“You, the beach?” She phrases it like it’s an absurd concept. “With your leather jacket and your muscle cars and your aversion to nature in general.”
“That’s not true. I took Sailor to the zoo the other day.”
“As in the place where they keep captured wild animals?”
It’d been quite a lovely day, my twin brother and I hanging out with his kid.
I tried to get Ren to come, but she finished a few things up with Ben before she went into vacation mode.
“What about London?” I compromise. Ren is compiling a list of all the places she wants to visit. She’s already told her cousin she’s going to be taking more time off of work.
Everyone agreed to it of course. She deserves to enjoy her time and spend her money how she wants. And the business won’t sink. She’s still heavily invested in its success.
But she’s admitted that boundaries aren’t necessarily an evil thing.
We’re both trying to enjoy the cruise because we know when we get back, it’ll be me hustling. I called Sam, the former mechanic for the bratva’s luxury cars. He didn’t have any family to take over the business so he happily agreed to pass on his former customers and give me his blessing.
And I worked out a contract with Trevino to service his company vehicles. It’s a small fleet, but I’m not turning away any steady business.
Dad’s answered his phone every time I’ve called. Either to ask his opinion or to vent about paperwork. I’m still worried, I’ve upset him by leaving, but I know that’s my anxiety. I know because Dad’s the one who told me so.
He went with Mom to Russia, to visit Grandma. I’m not sure what’s going to happen between them. He’s looked at her strangely the past few weeks like he’s trying to figureout who she is.
Lev Zimin has never been stumped by a problem, but Mom isn’t like any other person on this planet. She’s smarter than him and we’re only now starting to all understand it.
