Page 78 of Heartfelt Pain
“You have ten seconds before I call Trevino.” I walk past him to find my phone.
I hear his scoff but there’s not as much satisfaction. I’m too raw to feel anything.
There’s a pressing need to curl up in bed but he follows me out of the room.
It irritates me enough to snap at him. “How could you do that?”
He’s pulled on his jeans. “Do what?”
“You know what you fucking did.” I hug myself tighter.
Shrugging his T-shirt on, he sighs. “We were going to have to find some sort of balance at some point, hellcat.”
“Don’t fucking call me tha?—”
“Yeah, I know. No baby names right? Unless you want to call me good boy?”
My cheeks warm at his use of the endearment. His hair sticks up funny and there are bruises under his eyes. If we were meant to be lovey-dovey we’d be cuddling in bed, exhausted after a long day and a hard fuck.
But I refuse to yield. To find myself in that familiar territory again.
“This is never happening again,” I say.
“Right.” He dismisses it immediately, patting his pockets and pulling out his phone. He checks the time and slips it back where it was. “At some point you’re going to have to admit you’re still in love with me.”
My breath is torn away from me.
He announces it casually, his hands in his back pockets. Warm soft brown eyes never leave mine.
“You’re out of your fucking mind.”
“No, hellcat, I’m not.” He shrugs. “I love you and you loveme. It’s been that way since I met you that first night at Fujimori’s.”
Tears collect in the corner of my eyes. “That night was a lie.”
His shoulders tense and he nods slightly.
“That’s not much of an apology,” I say.
Chewing the inside of his lip, he thinks. “I fucked up, Ren. I did a shitty thing because I thought it’d help my family. And for five fucking years, I’ve sat around hating myself because in the end, all it showed me was how shitty my family was while losing you.”
“Your family is shitty, but you still work for them.”
“Yeah, I know,” he bites out, not meeting my eye. “Is that what I need to do to prove to you how much I love you? Quit the family business.”
“It’s a little late for that, isn’t it?” Five years have gone by.
But Roma shakes his head. “I would’ve thought so but then that cab ride, Ren.”
I could kick myself. “It was stupid, mindless sex, Roma.”
“There’s never been such a thing between us,” he quietly replies.
I swallow a lump in my throat. “I can’t do this right now. This has been a shit enough day already. Just go away, Roma.”
“Did my family do something today? My dad? You left the party.”
I shake my head. For once it wasn’t Lev who upset me.
