Page 90 of Until Tomorrow
“I ain’t complaining if I keep getting paid.”
“I appreciate you coming in on your day off,” I said in earnest. That part I felt guilty about, considering he wasn’t prone to taking days off.
“It’s fine,” he told me. “I was getting restless anyway. The muses were too quiet, friends were all working, and there were only so many groceries I could buy as one man. I was starting to contemplate murder just for the hell of it.”
“Fun times, fun times.” I nodded slowly.
“You doing good there, Elliot?”
“Firehouse floor confessionals?” I asked as I lay down on the concrete and folded my hands on my chest. We had this thing. I didn’t know his last name, he didn’t know mine, but we talked. No names, no extensive details, or any of that. Our lives were our own, but it was nice to put shit out there that I didn’t talk to anyone else about.Things I couldn’t tell Logan or Eva.
“I met someone,” Rhett said.
“No shit!” I exclaimed. I rolled my head to stare at him. Rhett’s wife had died when they were young, and the poor man hadn’t moved on in life. Grief was such a weird thing. “That’s awesome. Thatisawesome, right?”
“Yeah.” He chuckled.
“We’re happy about this change of events?”
“Yeah, we are.”
“No panicking?”
“Mild, occasional panicking,” he admitted. Understandable. “But I also feel like it’s the right time, you know? And she’s… man, she’s so far out of my fucking league that I don’t know what the hell she sees in me.”
“But those are the best kind,” I told him.I didn’t have a clue.I usually hooked up like I was scraping the bottom of the barrel, but I did so intentionally. They were easy to get rid of. I didn’t like attachments. We could just say I had attachment issues. That was probably the easiest way to put that.
“She’s a fucking firecracker,” Rhett continued. I could hear the smile on his face as he talked about her. “Not afraid to hand me my ass, more talent than she gives herself credit for, and still somehow sweet as hell.”
“Sounds like your type.”Was it?I didn’t have a clue. Types were never something that we discussed. “How are you feeling about it all?”
He fell silent, and I could practically hear him thinking from under the truck. I gave him space, though. Rhett wasn’t one for words—it wasn’t his thing—so he needed time to put his thoughts together. I also had to learn to shut the fuck up because I could absolutely talk enough for the both of us and then some.
“I’m conflicted,” he said. “On one hand, I want this. I like her—probably more than I should. I can’t go a fucking hour of the day without thinking about her.”
“I mean, that’s not necessarily a bad thing,” I murmured.
“On the other hand, I’m worried I’m going to fuck this up. I haven’t dated a single person since my wife passed. Why now? Why her? And how long before I fuck this shit up?”
Ah, the questions of the century.
“I think the key is to keep communicating with her, Rhett,” I replied like I had a goddamn clue. I was the last person to be giving out relationship advice. At least he’d been married. I didn’t have a leg to stand on in that department—not like I was trying to either. “And get out of your own head. I don’t think you’ll ever get the answers to why her or why now and all that crap. That’s fate or destiny or whatever you want to call it. Whatever it is, it’s happening here and now, so roll with it. And whenever you have doubts or worries, talk to her.”
“I’m not good at talking to other people.”
“What the hell am I?” I demanded. “Chopped liver?”
“When we talk at a point where I’m not fixing your fuck-up on the truck, then we can count you,” he said.
“Touché.”It was a fair point.“You’ve been doing that whole alone thing for so long that you need to make sure you keep telling her things too. She can’t help you through your shit if she doesn’t know what’s going on.”
“Anyone ever tell you you’re pretty damn smart for a man who hits the fucking curb?” he retorted, and I chuckled. You hit a curb one time in front of a mechanic and he’s suddenly full of opinions.
“I save my stupid reserves for the curbs,” I joked. “But in all seriousness, live it up. It sounds like she’s a great woman, and you obviously like her. Don’t get in your own way.”
“And you? Are you still in your own way? How are things with your best friend?” Rhett asked, eliciting a loud sigh out of me. “Still in love with him?”
“Still in love with him,” I confirmed. That was my big‘oh, hell no’secret. I loved Logan. It wasn’t some puppy dog, head-over-heels kind of love. No, I loved that man with every fiber of my being. I was shamefully obsessed with Logan and had been since we were kids.
