Page 63 of Until Tomorrow
Well, that certainly changed things.I clicked the barbell in my tongue against my teeth as I tried to think of the best way to respond. Admittedly, she was giving me a hell of a lot more information than I needed.Or wanted.
I knew enough to understand the concept of a polyamorous relationship. I’d never been in one personally, but I’d never dated anyone other than my wife.
“Point taken. I’m sorry.”
“I don’t want your apology.”
“Then what do you want?” I demanded, and she faltered.
“I don’t know,” she admitted quietly.Fuck, I was under her skin just as much as she was under mine.“I just didn’t like your assumptions about me.”
“Right.” I nodded slowly. Where did we go from here? My best course of action was to leave. She’d said her piece, right? And I’d done my part by listening.
But damn it. I’d never been good at doing what I should’ve done.
“Does your wife come to all your music events?” she asked. The question knocked the wind out of my sails. Most women ignored the ring until it was an afterthought. They were oddly intimidated by the memory of a woman they never knew.
“No,” I said, my voice quiet enough that I wasn’t sure she could even hear me. I fussed with my ring. “She died when we were twenty-one.”
And then I waited for the backlash. I didn’t talk about my wife. That opinionated conversation about what I should be doing with myself at this point was one I avoided. I’d heard enough of it. Everyone always had an opinion on how grief should be handled, and they were real quick to vocalize it.
“I’m sorry.”
“Not your fault.”
“I know, but any loss is devastating.” She spoke the words like someone who knew. “And I’m not taking ownership… I’m just sorry you have to go through it.”
Have to, not had to.The distinction was one I noted very quickly. I wanted to ask how she understood, but I also wanted to leave this conversation as far behind us as I could.
“How’d you know I was playing tonight?” That was a safe question to ask.
“I called the bar to find out your band’s name, then found your band’s social media and event schedule online,” she replied. “I called the bar to double-check if you were coming in tonight, considering you were arrested. I wasn’t sure if you were taking time off.”
“That’s a little bit stalkerish, spark plug,” I told her, but that didn’t stop me from grinning. Her chin lifted slightly as if it was an accusation.
“I knew what I wanted, so I made it happen.” Nothing about that sentence fucking surprised me. “There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“You know,” I leaned toward her, gesturing between us, “if roles were reversed, I could get arrested for that shit.”
“Well, it’s a good thing I’m prettier than you are.”
“Ouch.” I feigned my offense. We both knew it was a fucking fact. On her worst day—if such a thing existed—she would always have me beat in that department. She shrugged, flashing me that drop-dead smile of hers.
“Well, I think that was ten minutes,” she said.
“I wouldn’t know. I wasn’t looking at the time.” Maybe it was fucking cheesy, but I didn’t care. There wasn’t a future here—that much I knew—but I could enjoy her company for another ten minutes.
Chapter 36
Logan
“Idon’tknowhowto describe it,” I repeated, my head tipping back against the chair as I sighed in frustration. I sat in Amelia’s office for another therapy session. I worked around her schedule, letting her fit me in where she could. Mr. Burke was kind enough to work with me, knowing the shit I was going through and knowing that I always made up for it.
“Well, first and foremost,” Amelia began, “I need to remind you that you’ve been at this for a little while. And in that time, you’ve gone out with Chad once and Emerson twice. The sample size you’re working with, Logan, isn’t very big. Have you tried arranging more dates?”
Outside of our random late-night conversations when stuck at work, I had gone on a second date with Emerson.And Ernie.Again, it was nice. He was a nice guy, he was attractive, but nothing.
Chad’s entire existence had been a complete turn-off, so I knew why I wasn’t attracted to him.
