Page 13 of Until Tomorrow
“I would hope so,” I commented.
“And you?”
“Do I what?”
“Do you enjoy the time you have with your wife? You put in a lot of unnecessary hours at the office. Are those part of your irreconcilable differences?”
“I would think that why I am looking to divorce my wife wouldn’t matter to my job,” I said.
“Do you know why I hired you?” Mr. Burke asked.
“My potential.”
“Your potential to be human,” he corrected. “So many of the young people who walk through this door are looking to work until the day they die. Work hard, climb the ladder, make that money. And moneyisnice. I understand that. But the money will always be there. No matter how much you work, it’ll be there. But to be human? That seems to get lost. To have a heart. Compassion. To care about people. Do you remember what you talked about in your interview?”
“No, I’m afraid I don’t, Mr. Burke.” I shook my head. That was so long ago.
“You talked about the house you’d just bought with your wife. Your first house.”
“The fixer-upper.” I grinned.I hadn’t thought about that house in years.
“And you had all these plans to rebuild that house. And you had plans for all the things you wanted to do with her in that house—holidays, birthdays. Do you even own that house anymore, Logan?” He cocked a brow as he waited, but my silence spoke volumes. We’d moved out of the house years ago when the money was good, when being closer to work meant I could invest more in what I was doing, and when I wanted to become more involved in the social aspect of the office. “And the trade-off, Logan? How many nights do you spend with your wife? Saturdays? Sundays?”
I didn’t have an answer—not the one he wanted, at least. Most nights, I came home late and ate a quiet dinner with Eva before going into my home office to wrap up more work for the day. Saturdays were spent organizing my week and figuring out what I needed to do and when. I spent most of it locked away in my office. Sundays… well, Sundays I was so damn tired that I didn’t do much anyway. We spent Sunday nights together, relaxing in a bubble bath before bed, but I almost always fell asleep until she coaxed me into bed. We had our occasional dinner nights out and scheduled intimacy at this point.
The trade-off for my success had been my wife.
“You have to stop and ask yourself if the money is worth losing her.”
“It’s not about the money.” I sighed and leaned my elbows on the desk, fidgeting with the closest pen I could find. “Can I ask you a question in confidence?”
“Of course,” Mr. Burke replied. “I can even charge you if you want to be sure.”
“No, that’s all right.” I chuckled, the sound brief. I toyed with my pen as I worked out the best way to ask him. There was a good chance I was about to shoot myself in the foot, but I was going to anyway. If anyone in my life—who wasn’t Elliot—would have some answers, it’d be him. “How did you know you liked men?”
“Ah…” He nodded his head knowingly. “That will certainly complicate things, won’t it?”
“Yes, yes, it will,” I agreed.
“I can’t give you the answer you’re looking for, Logan,” Mr. Burke said. “That journey is different for everyone. Some just know, some figure it out. There’s no carbon copy outline for sexuality. There’s no formula, no easy answer. That’s something you have to figure out on your own.”
I nodded but said nothing. I hated that answer. I worked in logistics, checklists, and patterns. This do-and-find-out mindset was terrifying if I was being honest. I didn’t like the prospect of going in blind.
“You know, your generation is quite lucky,” he continued lightly. “You have an app for everything. Or maybe it takes the fun out of guessing and getting hit in the face. I wasn’t born with this crooked nose, you know.”
“I did not,” I admitted.Though I hadn’t given his crooked nose any thought ever.
“Courtesy of Joshua Manfield and one wrong assumption. I think it makes me look more dashing.” He tapped the tip of his nose while I just smiled. I didn’t have a clue how to respond to that. There was no good way to agree with that politely and not come across as creepy—though the crooked nose did suit him. “You know, another nice thing about your generation is how… simple things like love and relationships can be.”
“How do you mean?” I frowned.
“Nothing is so black and white anymore. Maybe to some people, but we don’t care about them. No, love is love and all of that. It’s nice. Relationships aren’t just men and women publicly. Hell, some relationships aren’t even just two people. Some are three. Some are more. In a way, I envy you young people. What a beautiful world to live in, don’t you think?”
“Yeah,” I whispered, not quite sure what he was getting at.Shades of gray didn’t help me.
“One last piece of advice, Logan,” Mr. Burke said. “When you get to the end of your life, it’s not the meaningless networking social events that will flash before your eyes. It’s the moments that matter. The people you love. The people who care about you. Your family, your friends… that’s what you’ll see. Not a networking event with people who couldn’t understand a real connection if it hit them in the face. Just remember that.”
Chapter 10
