Page 101 of Until Tomorrow
Fuck, I wasn’t that lucky. I sighed.
I know.
LOGAN: Can we talk about it?
I just need you to pretend and let me be okay this time.
I squeezed my eyes shut and tipped my head against the cab window. I wasn’t okay. I wanted to rip my heart out of my chest and toss it down the nearest sewer drain. If I didn’t have it, I didn’t have to feel anything. Not feeling would make this whole thing so much easier.
LOGAN: Okay. I’m here if you need me.
Okay. I’ll see you when I see you.
I knew I’d be okay. I’d get over it. I was used to people leaving. My dad had left us for his barely legal secretary. His family had left us like we meant nothing, to begin with. My mom would vanish for months at a time to chase whatever whim she had, and when she wasn’t gone, she was always working. Her family had walked out because they were over her antics—me, her teenage love child, being one of them. Friends came and left. Coworkers too. Nobody stayed.
But Logan had been the one constant in my life. I’d spent a lifetime clinging to him. It’d been easy to love him and not feel the pain because we were parallel lines running different courses that would never cross. But now? That possibility was there and somehow… somehow that made all that fucking hurt come back with a vengeance.
I wanted Logan to love me the way I loved him, but he’d never be mine. I just had to learn to accept that and move on, even if that meant distancing myself from him.
Chapter 51
Eva
Myphoneringingwasthe last thing I needed as I tried to juggle a box of comfort food. By some miracle, I managed to wrestle it out of my purse without dropping a single thing.Though I did almost roll my heel.
“Hello?” I answered breathlessly.
“Are you and Logan doing it?” Katy asked with a laugh.
“What!” I exclaimed and almost dropped my box.Damn it.While I struggled to prop it up on my hip and not break an ankle in the process, I said, “Nope. Sadly I’m out of breath because walking up four flights of stairs in heels while carrying a box of groceries is a freaking workout.”
“You should try doing it with a car seat and a diaper bag,” she replied. “Though I can’t remember the last time I wore heels.”
“That sounds so unpleasant. How are you?”
“Better question: how do you feel about watching mostly naked men dance?” Well, that gave me pause.
“How many mostly naked men are we talking about? That piece of information matters,” I told her. “If it’s one, it’s absolutely not worth my time.”
“How about two dozen? Two dozen unbelievably muscular men dripping in oil, dressed like firefighters, and swinging their hoses around just for our pleasure.”
“Whatever it is, the answer is yes, I’m in.” I didn’t need to be asked twice. I wanted that. I absolutely wanted that. “Can I touch it? Them! I mean them.”
Her laughter was loud on the other end. I adored Katy. Not only was she so ready to help me when I needed it, but she was also fun and easy to talk to.
“I sure as hell hope with the VIP package that we get to touch something,” Katy said. “Loren bought me two VIP tickets for this Magic Mike style show. Girl, I’ll send you pictures. Just the pictures have me reaching for my vibrator. Men that delicious should not exist.”
“Yes, yes. Yes, yes, yes,” I repeated with a little too much enthusiasm. Mostly naked men all oiled up, shaking their hips? Sounded like a fantastic way to spend an evening.
“Perfect! I’ll text you all the information!”
“Thank you!” I replied in a sing-song voice.And then I promptly dropped the phone on the hallway floor.“Damn it. I’ve got to go.”
I spent way too much time trying to pick it up before giving up and just kick-shuffling it down the hallway to Elliot’s door. Knocking was out of the question. That box made it too difficult, so I kicked the door.And kept kicking the door.
“You,” I began when Elliot answered the door, “tried to kiss my husband.”
“Fuck,” Elliot whispered, hanging his head as he let out a deep breath. He looked worse for wear—tired around the eyes, hair awry, and just overall exhausted. “It’s so early, and I’m so hungover, short stuff.”
