Page 153 of His Ruthless Match
The Shadow stared at me, his expression unreadable.
My throat felt tight, but I forced the words out anyway. “I’m in love with her,” I admitted, the confession cutting through thesilence like a blade. “And because of that, I can’t protect her the way I should. I can’t make the calls that need to be made without letting my feelings get in the way.”
Pity and frustration flashed across his face in quick succession, and fuck if that didn’t make me feel like even more of a failure than I already did.
“I’m asking to be removed from this assignment. Please, boss. Assign someone else. Someone who can keep her safe the way she needs.”
He didn’t speak right away. The silence stretched between us like a chasm. Finally, he nodded slowly, but his tone was clipped when he spoke. “Fine. I’ll send someone to collect her things from your cottage immediately.”
“Don’t bother. I’ll have Grelth bring everything over.”
The Shadow’s lips pressed into a thin line. “From now on, Eva will live here. With me. That’s what I wanted in the first place, but clearly, things have gotten out of fucking hand. I won’t let her argue, and I won’t let her beg. This is what’s best for her.”
I couldn’t argue with that. Not anymore.
After a long silence, he dismissed me with a wave of his hand. I turned to leave, but before I reached the door, I hesitated. “Boss,” I said, glancing back over my shoulder. “I’d like to lead the investigation into whatever the hell is going on in the Crimson Dominion. There’s a connection between the rebel factions and whoever’s after Eva. I can feel it.”
He regarded me for a long moment. “Fine. But you stay away from Eva. Understood?”
I nodded, my chest heavy as I turned and walked out of the study, the door closing behind me with a softclick. Each step away from that room felt like walking away from a part of myself I’d never get back.
The doorto my cottage slammed shut behind me, the sound echoing through the quiet space. I stood there for a second, just breathing, gripping the door handle like it was the only thing keeping me upright. I’d told Eva I’d be back soon. I’dpromisedher. And instead, I’d walked out and left her sitting in that kitchen, probably staring at the table, wondering what the hell was happening.
I couldn’t go back. Not now. Not ever.
Everything hit me all at once. My chest felt like it was caving in, like there wasn’t enough air in the damn room. I let go of the door handle and stumbled forward, my boots dragging over the floorboards. I grabbed the corner of the couch, and for no reason at all, I shoved it as hard as I could. The whole thing lurched sideways, the legs screeching against the wood.
“Fuck!” I snarled.
I grabbed the lamp off the side table and hurled it across the room. It smashed into the far wall, glass shattering and scattering across the floor. My chest heaved as I looked at the destruction, but it wasn’t enough. Not even close. I swept my arm across the table, sending books, papers, and whatever else was there crashing to the ground. A growl rose in my throat as I flipped the table, the wood splintering as it landed on its side.
Nothing helped. Nothing made it better. The fury inside me, the ache, the fuckinghelplessnessjust grew and grew until I couldn’t see straight. I yanked a picture frame off the wall—one of the few damn things I’d bothered to hang up—and flung it at the door just as it creaked open.
Grelth stepped in, his eyes widening as he ducked the flying frame. It missed him by inches, and the glass shattered against the doorframe behind him.
“What the hell is going on in here?” he demanded, his voice sharp but tinged with concern.
I braced myself against the wall, my hands splayed against the rough wood as I tried to catch my breath. My lungs burned, and sweat dripped down the back of my neck. For a long moment, I couldn’t answer him. Couldn’t even form the words.
Grelth stepped closer, his boots crunching over broken glass. “Master Jareth?” he prompted, his tone softer now.
I let out a shaky breath, closing my eyes. “She’s not coming back,” I said finally, my voice raw and hoarse.
Grelth froze, his usual sarcastic wit nowhere to be found. For once, he was silent, and that only made it worse. I didn’t want his sympathy or his fucking pity.
I turned around, leaning against the wall as I dragged a hand down my face. “The Shadow expects you to take all of Eva’s things to his estate. Immediately.”
He didn’t move. Didn’t speak. He just stood there, staring at me with a helpless look in his eyes, like he didn’t know what to say or do. Like he wanted to fix it but knew he couldn’t. It made my skin crawl.
“Don’t fucking look at me like that,” I snapped. “Just do what I asked.”
Grelth nodded slowly. He turned toward the hallway, probably heading to the room to pack Eva’s things, but I couldn’t stand there and watch. The thought of him going through her things—her clothes, her books, the little knickknacks she’d left scattered around—sent a sharp pain spearing through my chest.
When I heard him pop out of existence, I pushed off the wall and stalked to my room, slamming the door behind me. Thesound reverberated through the cottage, but it didn’t bring the relief I was looking for. Nothing did.
I sat down heavily on the edge of my bed, gripping the edge of the mattress. My gaze fell to the pillow beside me, and before I could stop myself, I grabbed it and held it to my chest. Her scent was still there. Warm, familiar, and comforting. My vision blurred as I inhaled it.
My cougar stirred restlessly inside me, its instincts clawing at the edges of my mind. It wanted her. Needed her. And the ache of that separation—of being apart from her after so long—was unbearable. It was torture. Pure, unrelenting torture.
