Page 9 of Bonds of Magic
Most of the heads in the room swiveled to look at Erika’s empty desk, right next to mine. Some people studied me, too. My friends weren’t the only ones who’d noticed I’d missed breakfast.
“As Dean Mansur said, any student who feels unsafe at the university at this point is free to leave. Your spot will be held for one year, and you will be welcomed back warmly. I encourage you to make the best decision you can for yourself. But I will also say that I hope you choose to remain. You are all bright minds with huge potential, and extra security measures have been put in place to ensure your safety. Going forward, all undergraduate students must be accompanied by professors when outside of the manor, which should prevent any further accidents.”
Kazansky smiled sadly. “Erika’s death is a tragic loss for her family, her friends, your class, and for Vesperwood as a whole. We will all miss her quick mind and intelligent contributions to class discussions. But Erika was an inquisitive person, who enjoyed learning for learning’s sake. The best way to honor her memory is to forge ahead. I’m sure that’s what she would want to do, if she were here.”
It should have sounded hollow, but the fact was, Kazansky was right. Erikawouldhave wanted to press ahead with lessons, her pen poised to take notes, her mind grasping new content quicker than anyone else.
Kazansky’s gaze swept the room looking for…what, exactly? Assent? Objections? Someone to burst into tears and claim they couldn’t go on?
No one said anything, or even moved. Finally, Kazansky nodded. “Alright, then. Let’s pick up where we left off yesterday.”
I spent the rest of class in silence and sorrow, doing my best to ignore thepsst’s andhey’s coming from Ash. I ignored him during Environmental Magic too, and tried to slip out quickly and head back to my room when it was time for lunch. But Ash was too fast. He nabbed me before I reached the end of the corridor.
“What isupwith you?” he asked, yanking me to a stop. He’d gotten a hold of my sleeve and wasn’t letting go, no matter how hard I pulled.
“Nothing,” I said, giving him a look that I hoped was…something. I wasn’t even sure. “I’m just tired.”
“That makes sense,” Felix said, coming up to join us. He shifted his books from one arm to another. “We never caught up with you last night. How long were you out there?”
“And did you see what happened?” Ash pressed. “Were you the one who found Erika?”
“I—no—I don’t want to talk about it,” I stammered. Other students were streaming past us. I didn’t want to have this conversation at all, but I especially didn’t want to have it here.
“Because Paolo Webb said he saw Noah bring you back to the manor, covered in blood,” Ash said, not listening to me at all. “Were you there? What happened to her? How bad was the fall?”
“I wasn’t—” I tried again, but Ash steamrolled on.
“Did she really fall? Or is that a cover story? I feel like people don’t die from falling unless it’s like, off a cliff.Wasit off a cliff, down by the lake? You have to tell me, Cory, I’m dying.”
“Jesus,” I snapped, tugging my arm free once and for all. There was a tiny hole in my sleeve now. “Erika isactuallydead, and you’re acting like this is just stupid gossip. What the hell is wrong with you?”
Ash looked wounded.
“I know she’s dead,” he said angrily. “And she was my friend too. I probably knew her better than you did, seeing as how I’ve been here longer. Sue me for wanting to figure out what happened to her. God knows the administration isn’t going to tell us anything useful.”
“There’s no reason to think they’re lying,” Felix said sadly. “People die from falls all the time. All it takes is landing in the wrong place at the wrong angle.”
“Not Erika,” Ash said, glaring first at Felix, then at me.
I sighed. It had felt good to snap at Ash, but it wasn’t fair. I wasn’t actually mad at him. I was mad at myself.
I looked around the corridor helplessly. We had it to ourselves now. There was no rescue coming to save me from this conversation.
“The dean told me I’m not supposed to talk about it,” I said. Ash was still glaring at me, and I held my hands out helplessly. “I promised. He said he didn’t want rumors starting.”
“He would,” Ash said, but a touch of anger went out of his tone.
That wasn’t what the dean had said, exactly. But it was close enough.
“The thing is, you guys should probably—” I broke off. Not because I wasn’t supposed to say more, but because I didn’t want to say what I knew I had to tell them next.
“It’s my fault,” I said, trying to push down the sorrow and guilt that rose in my chest. “That’s what you really need to know. That’s what matters.”
“What?” Ash said. “How could it be your fault?”
“It just is, okay?” I needed to drive that point home. “If I hadn’t gone out there, if I hadn’t insisted on going off alone, she’d still be here. If I’d never come to Vesperwood, Erika would be—”
“Okay, stop right there, because you sound insane.” Ash cut me off and gave me an are-you-really-this-stupid look. “I don’t even need to know the details to know that’s not true. Unless you pushed her from a ledge or hit her with a cursed amulet or, I don’t know, put a gun to her head, whatever happened is not your fault.”
