Page 43 of Bonds of Magic
I said it with more force than necessary, but it wasn’t only Cory I was trying to convince.
“My job is to help you gain control of your powers,” I continued. “I don’t want things to get complicated.”
“I’m not asking you to marry me. I’m asking you to admit that you kissed me back. And to not act like I’m some kind of leper.”
“I can’t do that.” I could see the rejection in Cory’s eyes. But I knew this was for the best. “I can’t be what you need.”
“You don’t know what I need.”
“I know you need someone to set boundaries. That’s what both of us need. I should never have let you think you owed me something in exchange for these lessons. I should never have touched you, should never have told you what I saw. I was caught off-guard, but that’s no excuse.”
“Say what you actually mean. You mean you should never have let me think there could be something between us. Should never have actually treated me like an equal for once.”
My heart ached, and I couldn’t figure out why. Nothing had happened between us. Almost nothing, anyway. The kiss had lasted less than a minute. So why had it turned my world upside down?
“Iamtreating you like an equal,” I said. “By respecting your personal space. Your privacy.”
“What if I don’t want you to respect it? What if I like the idea of you invading it?”
“Then you’re even younger than I thought.”
Cory had never felt what I’d felt. A grief so huge it threatened to drown him. Horrors so real they drove you out of your mind. He was innocent. And he should stay that way.
“You can’t get your hopes up about me,” I said heavily. “It will only hurt you in the end.”
He opened his mouth to object, but I shook my head.
“We’re not talking about this anymore. I’m taking you back to your room and that’s the end of it.”
“Can’t wait to get rid of me, can you?”
His voice dripped with contempt, and I didn’t know if it was for me, or for himself.
I can’t wait to be free of you, I answered inside my head,because being in the same room as you makes me want to explode. Because I can’t trust myself around you.
Getting Cory back to the manor would help. A little. But it wouldn’t solve the problem. Now that I’d tasted his lips, felt his hands on my body, I would never be free of him.
I turned and headed for the door.
“Come on. It’s time to go.”
8
CORY
“Feel the air on your face. Feel its coolness in your nostrils as you inhale. Feel it travel to your lungs, expand them. Feel it fill every inch of you.”
I cracked an eye open and looked at Rekha skeptically. We were standing in one of the alcoves in the first library, attempting our second lesson at her ‘teaching’ me magic. I’d gotten nowhere so far. Big surprise. I wished I could tell her, wished I could admit tosomeonewhat I really was.
But Rekha was the last person who should have that information, even if it would get me out of these torturous lessons.
“Eyes shut,” she snapped. “You can’t get in touch with your inner magical connection if you’re too focused on the outside world.”
“I can’t get in touch with it anyway,” I muttered.
“What was that?”
“Nothing,” I said with a sigh, closing my eyes. “Nevermind. I’ll try again.”
