Page 66 of Daring Her Vampires
“Too bad. I said it. I won’t take it back.” I relax and kiss his chest before settling. He drags his hand from my hair down to my back. I shiver as he caresses my skin with the tips of his fingers back and forth.
“Don’t hold back your words,” he says sternly. “If something upsets me, I will tell you. I want you to do the same.”
“Not all men like my honesty.” I can think of tons who haven’t.
“I’m not like them. I love your honesty and your eagerness for my touch.”
“I’ve had a few experiences that weren’t good,” I mention lightly. It’s never good to talk about other men while your vampire mate is still inside you.
“How?” he asks.
“You don’t want to hear that.”
“Am I inside you?”
“Uh…yeah.”
“Is anyone besides me or Atlas ever going to be inside you again?” he growls.
“No,” I say quickly. Even without the bond, I can’t imagine ever being with anyone else again.
“I know you had a life before us. I don’t want to picture it, but if there is something we need to be careful of, you need to tell us. I don’t want to trip a bad memory.” He drums his fingers on my ass. “Tell me.”
“I don’t temper my words while being intimate. Years ago, I was dating a human. He was nice and seemed to enjoy my humor. I was being cautious and hadn’t slept with him yet. At the time, I didn’t know why. As I look back, there were signs that should have given me pause. We always went to restaurants out of town, and he never showed me his house or introduced me to his friends. I made him dinner at my place so he knew where I lived. We kissed and did other stuff, but never had sex.
“The conversation was always about my life, and I knew very little about him. I was struck by his pretty face and gentlemanly manners. Then, I thought it was nice that he seemed to listen to me. He started coming to my place all the time, and we never went out anymore. Our attraction grew, and we finally had sex.”I close my eyes, feeling the humiliation. “I made noises, and I expressed my pleasure.” I open my eyes. “He didn’t like it. He covered my mouth and told me to be quiet.”
“Asshole,” Luca grumbles. I fold my hands on his chest and prop my chin on them.
“Yes. I remember smelling his scent on his hand while he left it over my lips as he finished. I was stronger than he was, so I could have flipped him off the bed. It was a low point in my life because I remember thinking,Why am I letting him do this?I didn’t move, allowing him to use me even though I didn’t like it. He rolled away and apologized for snapping at me. He explained that he didn’t like talking during sex, and I should never do it. I should have dropped his ass at that moment.” I snort.
“But you didn’t,” Luca says.
“Unfortunately, I didn’t. For another month, I suppressed myself and made excuses for him. I suffered through more of his treatment in the bedroom, but I began to wake up from whatever spell he had over me. One night, he was supposed to meet me for a meal. I waited at the restaurant for thirty minutes before I called him. A woman answered his phone, and when I announced I must have the wrong number, she informed me that she was his wife.” I shake my head. “I suppressed everything I was for a man. I wanted to please him. Saying something would have made him mad. Making him happy was more important than what I needed.
“I pretended to be a delivery service that didn’t have the address to bring the flowers. I drove to the house that I didn’t know he had. Standing outside the window, I saw him talking to a woman in the living room. I lost it. Knocking on the door, I gathered all the rage I felt. When he opened the door, I punched him and broke his nose. The wife came running, and I informed her that I had been sleeping with her husband. I told her everything. He was on the floor, looking at me, horrified.” Ilaugh. “He told me I was crazy, and the wife that I was lying. She stared at me, and I held her gaze. I was not ashamed because he lied to me. I was a shifter, yet also a woman who wanted love and safety.”
“What did she say?”
“She thanked me. Apparently, she had her suspicions. The late nights at work, never touching her, and phone calls that he couldn’t explain. She was waiting for the truth, and I supplied what she needed to leave him. She had also been ignoring her instincts.” I stare into his eyes. “That day, I swore I would never let a man, or anyone else, make me into something I’m not. I would embrace my sexuality. I wouldn’t fear how my needs, wants, and words affect a man's ego. Just because I’m a woman doesn’t mean I am less. We are expected to suck it up, and put everyone above us. I never made that mistake again.”
“Tricks.” Luca sits up, and I gasp. “I don’t want you to be anything but yourself. I love your fire. Moaning your pleasure turns me on more. I don’t want silence. I don’t have to guess if I’m doing what you like. Forcing you into anything makes me nauseous. Everything we do will always be consensual. I never want to hurt you in any way. The human was beneath you. He didn’t deserve your love.” He cups my face, his thumbs gliding over my cheeks. “I don’t need to tell you how to act to feel like a man. Playing with you is fun, and I have never felt so accepted by a woman. I don’t want to change you. You're perfect how you are.” I wrap my arms around him.
“My fire isn’t always so well received,” I say dryly, ignoring the hard cock inside me.
“Fuck them,” he hisses, wrapping me tight. “They don’t matter. This is what matters.” He nips my jaw. “You scare them.” I jerk back.
“What?”
“They want to feel big and make you feel small. There’s something wrong with them, not you. My Tricks is everything they aren’t.” He kisses me briefly. “You're beautiful.” He cups the back of my neck. “Inside and out. You're bold and courageous.” He kisses my shoulder. “You're strong and resilient.” His hips jerk. “You’re sexy as fuck and own your desire.” I shiver, and he licks my neck. “You are loyal and love deeply.” I blink, swallowing thickly.
“Is that what you want?” I whisper. “My love?”
“I haven’t felt deserving of love,” he admits softly. “I would be the luckiest man in the world to have yours.” My mouth parts, and my little jaded heart opens to him.
“I love my family.” I press my forehead to his. “It’s been a very long time since I have loved a man. What I felt then is nothing compared to what I’m feeling now. You deserve love, and I want to give it to you.” My honesty has gotten me into trouble in the past, but I don’t care. My emotions are growing every minute for Luca and Atlas.
“I will protect you until I am nothing but dust,” he rumbles, and I exhale sharply. “I never wanted a woman who I could control. I’ve dreamed of someone who would fight by my side. Someone…” He presses his hand to my heart. “Someone who would protect me and my family as fiercely as I do. Tricks, my hard heart is yours.”
