Page 57 of A Touch of Charm
“Oh, but he said so! I trapped him at Bran Castle without hope of establishing the rights for the monarchy.”
“What?” Andre grimaced.
“Well, think about it. Since I didn’t make the liaison with the Habsburg family possible, he will continue to fight the rivalry among everyone who wants a hold of the region.”
“Or you fueled it further,” Andre mumbled.
“Exactly. I could have prevented it, but I made it worse. And Stan knows it, too. That’s why he called Alex for help.”
Andre crossed his arms and looked at the gas lamp hanging from the center of the orangery as if the solution to the dilemma could float down from the light source and brighten the future ahead.
“But he’s your father, he loves you. There ought to be more understanding.”
“Love and hate are close, and the pain I caused him was too great. I tipped the scale and used up the love he had. What’s left is something else that runs deep, but it’s not love.”
“How do you know that’s true? Perhaps you need time to heal the wounds. Surely, he won’t put the connection with the Habsburg family over his daughter.”
His words sank into her, slow and steady, like the warmth of the fire in his eyes reaching her heart. How could he see the fractures in her practiced composure so clearly? Even those she’d worked so hard to smooth over? And why was it so easy to talk to him?
“He already has. How he looks at me—you weren’t there, but it was with such disgust.” Thea’s voice cracked, her eyes burning with tears.
Andre reached out and took her hand, squeezing it gently. “Maybe there’s still hope, Thea. Maybe with time, he’ll come to understand.”
She shook her head, the pain evident in her expression. “I don’t think so. It’s like everything I ever did right vanished in that single moment of defiance. He can’t see past his disappointment to recognize my pain. I’m a living disappointment, not a daughter with valid sentiments.” Thea’s voice dropped to a whisper, her emotions pressing down upon her.
“Shouldn’t you go home and resolve this misunderstanding?” he asked as if her answer could decide his fate along with hers.
“Don’t you think I tried?”
Thea sighed. “All winter, I tried. Every attempt to reconcile was met with resistance, like I’m wounding him anew every time I speak. Mother shields him, protects his broken heart from the truth I carry. She’s become this barrier, constantly reminding me to keep my emotions in check, not to upset him further.”
“He’s under a lot of pressure. That’s why Stan came to England and is trying to resolve the problem with the gold mines. And Baron von List is blocking every bit of progress, isn’t he?” Andre asked.
“And threatening us now. He even endangered Mary when he sent his—”
“I agree that the Prussian attackers probably came from him, but can we be certain?”
“Alex will help us to find out.”
“And if your brothers resolve the problem with the gold mines, it would set you free?”
“Nothing would set me free, Andre. I’ve lost value as a bargaining chip. I’m a promissory note for a broken promise.”
“Where do they think you are? How are they covering for your loss of…”
“Reputation? You can say it, Andre. I suppose they told a lie. Perhaps I’m shopping for dresses in Vienna or taking voice lessons at the opera in Budapest.” Thea gestured as if the lies her parents would tell to explain her failures away could be as vast as the ocean.
I don’t care anymore.
Andre narrowed his eyes. She realized he believed her despite trying to downplay the rift between her and their father. Yet, he listened to her feelings and stayed loyal to Stan. Andre was an upstanding man in every sense. And she trusted him wholeheartedly.
“Those last few months at home were like walking on shattered glass, trying to navigate a familiarity where my very essence was too painful for them to bear. The conversations that could mend our broken bonds are the ones they refuse to have. And every time they push me away, it breaks my heart again.”
Thea’s breath hitched as she continued, “I see their avoidance, the way they divert the subject or leave the room when I try to open up. It’s as if my feelings are a poison they can’t tolerate, and they are the victims of my bad choices.”
“But this was the first choice you ever made. You’ve always been the exemplary daughter, haven’t you?”
For the first time, she felt a flicker of hope. Maybe she wasn’t entirely alone in this world. Even though she wasn’t sure how to continue, the excitement and possibilities were much more encouraging than a life shackled to a Habsburg Prince she didn’t like.
