Page 49 of Baron in Check
Greg inhaled and leaned back, turning toward the lovely orange flickers on the mantel. “I often wish my father hadn’t done it.”
“Converted?”
He nodded.
“It was before you were born. We tried to talk him out of it.”
“I know. He told me.”
“He did it in part to make life easier for you,” Eve explained.
“Well, that backfired.”
She had a way of breathing as if she said “hm” to leave room for him to talk.
“I know Father thought he’d pave the way for me in parliament.”
“You’re there, Greg. You’re a member of parliament.”
“I’m a baptized, not-really Jew with a clean bloodline that’s not Jewish enough for your family, and yet I wasn’t Christian enough to pursue the love of my life. If that hasn’t backfired, then?—
“Oh Greg, darling”—Eve reached for his hand and patted it with her other, and he met her gaze—“life’s never that easy.”
He forced a polite smile, but rage cursed through his veins. “Not that easy” was an understatement.
“I told my children the same thing I’m going to tell you: It’s not all about getting to the top. For them, it was the appointment as Crown Jewelers; for you, it’s a seat in the House of Lords. Life’s trials start once you’re where you want to be. Getting there seems like the main hurdle, but it’s just the first act.”
He sighed. As much as he bristled against her words, he knew she was right. His parents had paved a certain way for him; now, it was up to him to make the most of it.
“Is that why you were crying?” Greg ventured.
She shook her head and brushed it off. Even though she leveled with him as an adult, she still protected him like a boy.
“Can I help in any way?” Greg pushed for an answer.
“Perhaps. But it’s not your priority now.”
She wasn’t going to tell him more, and pressing her further was futile. This was Eve Pearler, who reigned as queen of the Ton by willpower and merit. She had a firm grasp on everyone who mattered, and like a queen controlling the center on a chessboard, she could turn in any direction and conquer. And yet, she had the air of an overloaded piece, one that was protecting too many minor pieces and the king simultaneously. Was she surrounded?
Greg felt the opposite, like a lone knight jumping in an L-shape on the checkered board, but who was he defending? What was his purpose?
“I’m so lonely, Eve. Everywhere I go, I’m alone. I’m the only one who’s ascended to the peerage in the House of Lords through conversion; I’m the only one who doesn’t go to church because … I just don’t belong. No self-respecting woman at Almack’s ever considered me for a second dance unless out of politeness. I’m neither here nor there. Even in my own house, the staff look at me as if I were an imposter sitting at my father’s desk and sleeping in my parents’ chamber as if I haven’t earned the right to be there.”
She blinked at him in silence until he’d finished. But when she spoke, Greg thought the air had been sucked out of the room. “You didn’t, Greg. You’re the rightful heir, but have you earned it yet?”
“How can you, of all people, ask me that? The trade route? India! What about the foundling home scandal with Baron von List?”
“Of all people, it is I who can ask you on behalf of your mother because it’s not the wealth that I see but your heart.” Her voice was calm and unperturbed; her face had returned to its usual pallor. “Do you know what I see?”
“An idiot?” Greg was fuming. Why not pile on the insults? He could help with some vocabulary from the halls in Oxford.
“Oh, stop it!” She waved him off as if he were a child. “You always do as you’re told, Greg. You try to do right by everyone and everything. You’ve checked all the boxes for success, but you won’t get the credit you’ve worked for until you know in your heart that you’ve arrived.”
“I’ve been around the world; how have I not arrived?”
“Gregory.” She drew out each syllable of his name.
He blinked incredulously. “So it’s a bad thing to get it all done and done well? Shall I turn to a life of crime instead? Convert my fleet into an army of pirates, perhaps?”
