Page 67 of Margins of Love
“I just did not know my body could feel like this,” Rachel said.
He smiled proudly. It was him—his humble worship of her beauty undoing her. Then he moved his finger. She looked at him in surprise. This time, he held the contact.
He looked into her eyes, and she let him.
CHAPTER43
Rachel wanted Fave with an intensity that she could not understand.
She saw his darkened look, the raw sexual longing for her. Her guard was down. She had granted him access, not just to her body, but to her soul. Her hands found the back of his head and pulled him into a kiss. This time she took the lead and responded to his intimate caress. She was tasting him, drinking him in. Open and wet. He slid another finger in and climbed on top of her. She never allowed his mouth to break the kiss. She was getting wild, and her hips twitched. It was an awakening. She seemed to want him closer if that was possible. She tried to kiss him even more though she already was. Their tongues were dancing in circles. He brushed her teeth with his tongue. Then he broke the kiss and gave her his gut-melting smile, the one that illuminated her heart and eclipsed her every doubt that she was his—at least tonight.
She was led to him by a force larger than herself. Suddenly she realized he had removed his hand and a different kind of pressure replaced his gentle touch. Rachel looked down and caught her breath. Then met his gaze. She had never seen anything more erotic than Fave looking at her from between her legs. He was not down there yet, but oh, so close. He was exploring her entrance with kisses. She arched her back against his pressure and held her breath.
“I won't come in, I promise I won’t, but I so wanted to know how you feel. I want you so badly, Rachel. I want you to be mine, I don't understand why I can’t… why you won’t…”
He came up and dropped his head between her breasts. His face sank into her body, his breath tickled her.
Her heart sank and she whispered, “If we werebeshered…” She did not think he would understand.
“I beg your pardon?” he grinned.
“Nothing, it’s nothing.” She brushed it off with an insincere smile. He looked into her eyes and saw her soul, reaching the spot where the unthinkable secret was locked up. But if she gave it up, could he take it? Could he make his dreams come true?
“Did you saybesheret,meant for each other?”
Her eyes fell free of the ice as she realized that he pronounced it… correctly?
“Did you wish that we werebesheret?” he asked her again. His manhood still pressing against her entrance, his weight pinning her in place. She was hot and could not think straight. She had no rehearsed responses for this kind of moment.
“Fave, I… ehm…”
She wanted to say “yes” but could only breathe it. Her voice was gone. A tear rolled from her eye down her cheek, and then to her ear. Fave followed it with his glance.
A moment of silence fell over them.
They looked at each other, the intensity of their gazes linking their souls.
Then Fave smiled. He beamed. And she realized… but it could not be! Their secrets had been congruent. She shook her head at the epiphany. They shared an unthinkable secret that kept them apart instead of uniting them from the very first moment they met.
“Rachel, my sweet Rachel. I love you with all my heart. I love you with an intensity that I never deemed possible. I love you. Rachel, I… Love… You!” He smiled, but then looked serious.
She took a deep breath and frowned, still processing the new information. If he was Jewish, had she fallen in love with… was he still forbidden? Before she could make up her mind, Fave pushed his manhood ever so slightly toward her opening, pressing on with his heat.
“Rachel,ani le dodi ve dodi le.” I am yours and you are mine. Every word meaningful and heavy. Sincere and vulnerable. He had uttered the sacred marriage vow that Jews used for thousands of years to marry one another.
He waited and smiled. She was still holding her breath.
Tears built in her eyes. They had been so blinded by their own web of lies, by their efforts to blend in, that the camouflage became their new skin. But now they had shed it all.
He watched her intently, holding the pressure. And at the moment, her secret melted away. She knew and he knew. Jews marry each other, they do not need anyone else to marry them. There are three ways: one—a contractual obligation, two—a physical consummation, or three—a vow. He had just uttered this vow.
Rachel sobbed, her hips arching toward him. But no, she had to say it. She knew she could do it if she became his wife.
“Don’t cry, my love. Please don’t cry.” Fave kissed her tears away.
He caressed her cheek and took her hand. If she had given herself without a promise of marriage, she would be, according to their customs, his forever, and she could not be conveyed to another tomorrow.
“You have the power to make or break me, my heart, and my dynastic responsibilities. With you, I would be worthy. Without you…” He rested his head between her supple breasts. It was a primal drop, showing complete submission.
