Page 31 of Margins of Love
Rachel gasped.
“No, no”—Fave waved his hands—“let me finish.”
She nodded again unable to make eye-contact.
“There are things I am not allowed to do… ehm …only your husband…” He seemed sad, as if he was giving her a bad diagnosis of the incurable disease of a Fave-devoid future.
All the butterflies in her stomach vanished, as if the air had left her body. She did not want him to know. She did not want the excitement of possibility to be out of the equation. It was an equation she did not want to solve for Mr. X, anonymous groom. She only wanted Fave but she could think of no mathematical maneuver to accomplish this. Her body was promised to another, but she was doubting her heart would ever leave this moment.
“Rachel, I understand that I cannot make you mine.” Her heart sank even further in the look he gave her. “Please, hear me out. Arnold said, that there are other … Ehm… things to do.” He seemed hopeful with new elan.
She looked at him dubiously. “Arnold knows? Your cousin?”
He nodded, shrugging his shoulder. “He won’t say anything.”
Rachel took this in. This meeting was not what she had imagined when Fave slid the romantic note under her door. Her forehead furrowed.
“Rachel, I am here with you. Here and now.” Fave tightened his hug.
She placed her hands on his chest, then right to his heart. She felt it beating rapidly under his garments. The gesture seemed honest and spontaneous. Sincerity and hope sparkled in his eyes.
She was surprised to hear him echo her thoughts from just a few moments ago.
“I want to show you how I feel,” he whispered into her hair.
The tingling returned. They were close now and he looked deeply into her eyes. The disturbing news about her arranged marriage had opened the portal to her heart and she could not shield her feelings. She felt like a baby hedgehog, who should be prickly but laid on her back to be cuddled. This was her last chance at romance. If Fave asked, she would grant him anything.
They were here on their secret island under the willow, hidden from view from the house.
Suddenly, Rachel became aware of the evening chill and goosebumps rose on her skin. She shivered ever so slightly. With a gentle embrace, Fave took her closer. He wrapped his arms around her and pressed the tip of his nose against hers, speaking onto her mouth, but not taking it in a kiss.
“Please, allow me to show you how I feel.” His voice was low and manly, drained of the youth she so loved to hear when he was joking. “I think if I don’t show you”—his breath came ragged and hoarse—“You must know, but I cannot describe it and I need you.”
She looked at him expectantly, hoping she could think of something to say. But she was so flattered by his arousal in her presence. If this beautiful man needed her only a little bit as much as she needed him, she would perish on the spot if she did not comply. His hair looked like golden tufts of new grass, unruly, but soft. His smile was brighter than fresh snow in the Swiss Alps. And his body was hot and hard under her hands like a rock on a sunny beach day. Her heart melted and took her restraint along. She was just discovering desire and decided that giving it up for the sake of a promise she did not even make to the anonymous betrothed would not do. Resisting Fave would be akin to stopping the natural turn of the seasons. Spring already hung in the air, and the scent of new leaves and opening buds forebode a new beginning.
CHAPTER23
Fave wished he could read the thoughts rushing through Rachel’s brilliant mind. He wanted to see more of her wit, even more than her body. Oh, but her eyes were so deep and her dark lashes fluttered seductively at him. Her narrow figure fit into his embrace as a key in the right lock. She was just right for him. Except that he knew she should not be. His heart ached at the realization and his conscience troubled him more than a hit to the stomach. He must not burn for this girl as he did. He would have too high a price to pay for her loss—and he knew that was inevitable. And yet, he reveled in the crackling air surrounding her and in the faint scent of plumeria perfume that intoxicated his senses.
The sweet flyaways shimmered around her loose hair like champagne bubbles trailing to the surface of an expensive flute. Her hand on his chest caused the thin blond hairs on his arms to stand up. Her eyes were on his, granting him access to the depths of her mind, and yet, he could not help but suspect a forlorn secret.
“H-how would you…how do you want to show me?” Rachel smiled ruefully and vaguely…amused?
She was flirting! The joy of her humor had somehow redeemed what was to come in Fave’s wavering doubts.
Fave took her palm face up and drew a circle in it with his finger. Two could play at this, whatever that was. He could not look at her, however, and admit what was on his mind. “There are ways… Arnold told me… I had never imagined.”
“And… Ehm… WhatdidArnold tell you that was beyond your imagination?” Rachel asked with true innocence.
Fave cleared his throat to make room for his admission. “I do not know exactly.”
“So you want to experiment on me?” Rachel could not stifle a wistful smile. She was teasing him and reveling in his misery. The minx. “You should know, I have never done this before, so you will have to excuse me. I usually read. Experiments have never been part of my curriculum.” Now she was laughing at her own jokes.
Fave felt embarrassed beyond measure and frustrated with tension that would surely make him burst soon. Then he realized that her jokes were covering up her insecurity and inexperience. Curiosity?
What Rachel thought was a problem, Fave cherished. He adored that she was his alone. At least for now. And the realization made him eager to claim her completely. That, he was afraid, would be out of the question. And with this realization, his primal possessiveness, something clicked into place. Fave did not need to know, he just needed to feel. He wanted her close to him, underneath him, around him. His fantasies had a face now, the most beautiful confused expression of feminine flirtation. He closed in on her.
“Tell me,” she nudged him.
