Page 21 of In Just a Year
“He’s a Klonimus.”
“Exactly!” Esther couldn’t suppress her glee. “Isn’t it wonderful?”
“Oh Esther. Love is wonderful. What happens when you are in love with that one person is magical, but you need to be careful where you let love fall.” Hannah took on a dreamy look, as if she was seeing images from the past that she had tucked away.
“Where I let lovefall? You mean where or whenIfall in love?”
“No, not that. You control where love falls, as in who you allow to capture your heart. You don’t allow it to happen with just anyone.”
“Ben Klonimus isn’t just anyone.”
“That’s what I’m worried about. Now you understand?” Hannah seemed exasperated.
“Not at all. But I need to know, Hannah.”
“When there is a special moment, the kiss you illustrated is different, Esther.”
Esther was astonished at her sister’s experience, even though it made little sense because she had two children. Yet, Hannah was her sister, and even though Esther ached to know as Hannah went on, it was odd to have such a grown-up talk. “The kiss is not chaste and it does occur with open mouths. And when it happens with the right man in the right place and at the right time, you feel the kiss all over your body.”
Esther had no words. She’d never heard Hannah speak with so much reverence about—who else but Arnold. What a wonderful love they must have. Would Ben love her like Arnold loved Hannah? It wasn’t disgusting to think of her big sister with her brother-in-law now, it was romantic to consider the love they shared.
“Tell me more,” Esther said.
“Well, the kiss is what sparks a flame within you. It lights your body up and makes your skin more sensitive to his touch.”
“Truly?”
“Oh, absolutely! And then you feel it deep within you.”
“Where? In your heart?”
Hannah smiled as if she were a wise old woman at only five-and-twenty. “Not only in your heart. It’s a tingling sensation that builds in your stomach and spreads warmth down further.”
Esther’s hands flew to her mouth when she heard her sister speak such.
“Still more?” Hannah raised a brow and Esther nodded vigorously. Hannah crossed her legs and straightened her back. “When you are in the marriage bed, that place grows welcoming for his ahem … you know when he is hard and erect … anyway, so that he can insert himself and you become one.” Esther wanted to but she couldn’t quite picture it. Nor did she want to. “And then you make a baby and that’s that. Tea?” Hannah reached for the teapot and started to pour herself a cup.
Esther wasn’t satisfied. “When does he tear her skin then? Why does the woman bleed?”
Hannah closed her eyes and blew heavily on her steaming cup. “It’s the hymen.”
“What hymn?”
“Not hymn … oh Esti!” Her big sister looked pained. “There is a piece of skin inside of you, your virtue. Only when you make love for the very first time in your life are you able to give your virtue away.”
“My flower?”
“Yes, it’s not a flower, though. It’s a small skin that is closed when you are a girl. But when a man enters you, it rips, and then you are a woman. You are the flower and open, and he makes you bloom with a rush of sensations.” Hannah cringed and avoided Esther’s gaze as if she’d divulged a terrible secret.
Esther gulped.
“That doesn’t sound good at all. Will it heal?”
“No, and it’s not pleasant in many cases,” Hannah shrugged. “But if you find the right man and he loves you as you love him, it can be the most delicate and wonderful act. As if you were tearing the paper from a precious gift. You.”
“That’s what it means to give yourself to a lover?”
Hannah nodded and took a sip of tea with that telltale is-this-over-yet-look.
