Page 76 of Worst Nanny Ever
He knows all of our songs, and he blended well with Rob and Bix, but I wasn’t able to tap into the energy of the practice. I was always a second behind or ahead, wrong-footed.
Before Drake left, the four of us had a drink and a conversation, and Drake practically fanboyed over Rob’s connection to Bad Magic, saying Rob’s the one who wrote all their best hits (true), and that we were just as good (also true), and that within a year, we’ll be going on tour too.
Which was when it hit me…
I don’twantto go on tour. Ican’tgo on tour. I’m trying to get full custody of Ollie, and even if Hannah by some miracle agrees to go full time, it wouldn’t work. But Rob and Bix both grinned at him as if this were good news and they’d been waiting for it. Working toward it.
My mood took another hit—like a ship that’s torpedoed after hitting an iceberg—but I just nodded. Willed Drake to reveal he was the kind of closet psychopath who collected guitar picks from all the musicians he’d murdered. Anything to keep him from joining us and pushing Garbage Fire in a direction I didn’t want it to go. But the only skeleton he revealed was his slightly douchey personality, and now it’s obvious I’m the only one he bothered.
I tell myself it’s not only because of his comment about touring, but I can’t deny it didn’t help his case.
“Rob?” Bixby says, turning toward him. “Talk some sense into this guy.”
Rob claps him on the back. “It’s a group decision, Bix. All of us say yes, or it’s a no.”
“Shouldn’t it be two against one?” he asks darkly.
“No, man, because we’re the three musketeers. We all go up or down together. That’s how it’s always been.”
“But not how it’s always got to be,” Bixby says, glaring at me. “You don’t want us to get bigger, Trav. You’re happy playing at the same old bars and breweries. Getting up every day knowing it’s going to be the same old shit. But I’m not. I want to go places.”
“So go,” I say hotly. “Choose some guy you just met over your best friends. See how that works out for you. Maybe you can be the first bassist to successfully go solo.”
He shakes his head, his lips forming a flat line. “You’re an asshole.”
Then he packs up his bass—Bessie, he calls her—and takes off, nearly getting smacked in the ass by the door on his way out.
I run my hand through my hair, feeling like the asshole he accused me of being. Bixby’s not like me. He’d probably be over the moon if someone stalked him in a toy store because they’d watched footage from a show that never got made.
Rob doesn’t say anything. He just looks at me, inviting me to talk. He’s already stowed his guitar.
“I know Drake’s good,” I finally admit, my voice hoarse. “And Bixby was right. I didn’t play well tonight.”
Rob nods. “He’s hot-tempered. Bixby will be fine by the time we set up at New Belgium tomorrow. But how about you tell me what’s going on?”
Where to start?
“Someone posted about me in aShips Ahoyforum, and now a bunch of my dad’s superfans are coming to our show tomorrow afternoon,” I say, feeling a dull ache in my head. “If Lilah finds out about my dad, she’s going to think I have a shit ton of money. She’ll be on the next flight out of Australia to try to extort me, and we both know she won’t think anything ofusing our son as leverage. I’m trying to get full custody, and she’ll fight it if she thinks he’s a bargaining chip she can use to get money out of me.”
“Fuck,” Rob says.
He doesn’t ask if I’m sure about fighting for custody, even though he knows I’ve struggled with fatherhood, and I’m grateful to have a friend who sometimes has more faith in me than I have in myself.
I sit down heavily. “I don’t mind paying her off if that’s what she wants, but she’s going to think I inherited more than I did. She’s not the trusting type.”
“So we’ve got to shut these superfans down without pissing them off.”
I snort. “It’s too late for that. One of them ambushed Hannah and me in a toy store today. I told her to mind her fucking business or something along those lines. I can’t remember. I was seeing red.”
Rob grins at me. “Something broke through your Travis cool?”
“Lately it feels like everything does,” I admit. “Ollie’s been having some trouble at school, most of these people we’ve tried out for the band are shit, and then there’s Hannah…”
I trail off, thinking about Hannah in that dress. Hannah laughing as we made a melody on that floor piano. Hannah tracing my birthmark. Hannah kissing me back like she didn’t want to stop…
He gives me a sidelong look. “How’s it going with her, anyway? Sounds like you’ve been spending a lot of time together.”
“She’s great with Ollie,” I say with a sigh. “She’s in our lives for his sake, and that’s how it’s gonna stay.”
