Page 38 of Worst Nanny Ever
“Of course it’s not,” I joke. “Maybe we’ll all be in the same retirement home together, accidentally sleeping with the same old dude with dentures. That would be so us.”
“Nope.” Briar shakes her head. “I don’t think I’m ever going to start dating again. Staying single has been way better for my mental health.”
This time Dottie directs her patented knowing look at Briar. “Don’t give up on love yet, my dear. It has plans for you.”
“You make it sound like some kind of stalker,” I say, laughing. “Is it going to hit her over the head in the library with a candlestick?”
“No, I don’t think itisgoing to happen in the library.” Dottie glances around as if she’s worried about being overheard. “I’ll admit I got a little tipsy last night, and I tried pendulum dowsing with Penny.”
“My aunt?” Sophie gasps as if scandalized, while I say, “What the fuck is pendulum dowsing?”
“Oh, it’s wonderful fun,” Dottie says, squeezing my shoulder. “You hold an activated crystal suspended on a string, and it moves in response to yes and no questions.”
“And what did this pendulum tell you about Briar’s love life?” I ask, trying not to laugh.
“It seemed to think she was going to fall in love at Silver Star Brewery,” she says, starry-eyed.
“There you go,” Briar says, waving a hand. “I’m going to fall in love with my work.”
“Oh, that wasn’t my interpretation at all,” Dottie says. Then she glances at me. Uh-oh.
“You did it for me too?”
“Of course.”
“Let me guess. I’m going to fall head over heels in love with Eugene Peebles, and we’re going to have a May-December romance for the ages.”
“I’ll be sure to send you a tea basket when it happens,” Dottie says with an amused expression, and then she walks away without saying anything else.
“She didn’t tell me what my pendulum thingy said,” I complain.
“That you and Eugene are sitting in a tree,” Sophie teases, while Briar stares after Dottie.
“Now, that’s a woman who knows how to work a room,” she says with an admiring smile.
Several hours later,Ollie and I are sitting on the couch in Travis’s living room.
He’s stuck in a funk so deep he’s refused to do anything, including going to a trunk-or-treat that has gift bags. Gift bags full ofcandy.
“So why don’t we just sit here and make funny faces at each other?” I ask, pulling my mouth dramatically to one side.
“Nanny Rose says your face will get stuck like that if you do it, so you’d better not. I think she was kidding, but it’s better to be safe than sorry.”
“Uh-oh,” I say, keeping my mouth twisted up. “It’s too late. I’m going to have to spend the rest of my life like this, Ollie. Will you be embarrassed when I pick you up at school?”
I arc an eyebrow to complement the weird mouth thing I have going on, and he finally cracks a smile. “You’re teasing.”
“No, I swear, it’s really happening,” I say, “but I think it’s going back to normal. I can feel it.” I let my mouth slide back into its neutral position, then dramatically twist it to the other side. “Oh no, it shifted!”
Now, he’s laughing in a steady stream that has me grinning back at him.
“Thank goodness,” I say. “I was worried you were going to frown forever, and then we wouldn’t be able to get ice cream, because everyone knows you can’t frown while you’re eating ice cream.”
“I don’t think I’m supposed to eat ice cream before dinner.”
“What Travis doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”
He smiles and nuzzles his face against my arm. “You don’t talk like any of the other nannies.”
