Page 130 of Worst Nanny Ever
I press my palm to the wall, whether to help myself stay upright or convince myself not to punch it, I’m not sure.
This is what it felt like that night in Nashville, when Lilah climbed onto Roland’s lap. This is what it felt like having my father tell me I was a genius, the best son ever, only for him to tell me I was the worst disappointment of his life when I refused to do the show. This is what it felt like every time my mother handed us over to Nanny Grace the second we acted like we might need something.
I want to sit down and grip my hair and rock back and forth, and I also want to storm in there and beat the shit out of the guy I thought was one of my closest friends.
Bixby’s always been immature and impulsive, but I believed he cared about me. I thought he, Rob, and I were a unit. A band. Brothers.
But he did something that could risk my custody of my son, and that’s unforgivable.
I’m practically vibrating with rage, so deeply immersed in it that it’s the only thing I feel. The only thing that matters. But then Hannah burrows herself into my chest, wrapping her arms around me, and the worst of it fades away.
“We don’t know that it’s him,” she whispers. “We don’t know yet. It’s still just a possibility.”
Part of me wants to walk away so I can preserve the hope that it’s not true for a little while longer.
Hannah has made me stronger, though, and I don’t want to run from uncomfortable things anymore.
“So let’s find out,” I say, bending to kiss her forehead before I release her. Then I turn to Rob, who looks like he’d enjoy bludgeoning Bixby with his own bass guitar.
“We’re going to ask him,” I tell him. “Talk it out.”
“I’m going in with you,” Hannah insists hotly.
I meet her gaze, smiling. Feeling lucky that this incredible force of a woman thinks I’m worth her rage. “Are you going to listen if I say no?”
She lifts her chin. “I think you know the answer to that.”
“Don’t kill anyone for me, Hannah.” I reach for her hand and squeeze it. “Ollie and I don’t want to have to visit you in jail.”
“I make no promises.”
“All right,” Rob says, nodding to the door. “Let’s get this over with.”
“I can’t play with him anymore if he did this,” I tell Rob. “His reasons don’t matter.”
“No,” he says, looking sad. “They don’t.”
The three of us walk in together. I’m still holding Hannah’s hand, partly because I’m not certain she won’t stalk over and kick Bixby in the balls if I let her go. Partly because I don’t want to let go. Ever.
They stop talking the second we walk inside, then Bixby lifts his chin, indicating Hannah. “Can’t go a minute without your new girlfriend, Trav?”
She gives him a furious look that makes me glad her hand is still tucked in mine.
I consider what to say, then figure fuck it, might as well pull a Hannah and not try to dress up a flaming bag of shitand call it a sundae. “Were you the one who posted in thoseShips Ahoyforums, Bixby?”
Guilt flits across his expression, but he glares at Hannah. “Did she tell you that?”
“Did you do it?” Rob asks. “We need the truth.”
Drake looks uncomfortable, but I don’t care about him. My attention is on Bixby.
The look on his face says it all. I still need to hear his side of things, though. I want to understand.
“We just needed a little attention,” he says after a few seconds. “A little press. I knew that’s all it would take for us to level up. Get some national attention.”
Rob swears loudly.
“You know how I feel about my father,” I say coldly.
