Page 113 of Worst Nanny Ever
“It looked interesting,” he adds defensively.
“Of course it did.”
“You can pretend I’m your father.”
“How do you power walk?”
He starts moving his arms in a hilarious pantomime that cuts off as he gives me a sidelong look and says, “You need to do it too.”
Dammit.
But I paste on a smile and power walk right beside him until we start getting close, which is when I realize there’s a problem. If we keep power walking, we’ll power walk right past them, and while we’re nearly at the end of the atrium and can double back, passing them again, we won’t overhear anything.
“Fake a muscle cramp,” I hiss as we get closer.
“What?” he asks, way too loud.
“A muscle cramp.Fake one.”
He taps his ear, indicating he still didn’t catch what I said.
We’re close enough to Rachel and Karen that I can hear them now. Rachel is saying something about a kid in her daycare class who picks his nose and fling the boogers.
“God, I couldneverwork at a daycare,” Karen says.
“Because you hate kids,” Rachel replies with a laugh.
“What’s to like? I guess I should be happy Travis broke it off again.” She pulls a disgusted face. “I don’t care how loaded he is, I don’t have it in me to be a stepmom to some snot-nosed brat.”
Crap!I’m coming up on them too quickly. In a couple of seconds I’ll be practically next to them. I was so focused on listening to their conversation, I didn’t pay attention to our speed.
I stagger to a stop. “Oh, no. My leg. I’ve got a really bad muscle cramp, Dad. I was going at it too hard.”
“You should have eaten that banana,” he says in a tone I’m guessing his son is very familiar with.
“Yes, you were right. You’realwaysright.”
Karen glances back at us with a small smile, then does a double take.
“Hey, I know you,” she tells me, stopping in her tracks and turning to face us.
“No,” I say, “I’m pretty sure you don’t. I remember faces.”
“So do I.” Her face creases into a deep frown. “You’re that redhead who’s always at the Garbage Fire shows checking out my ex-boyfriend.”
Okay, fine, the power walking gig is up. Time to take a direct approach.
“Oh, yeah,” I say, standing up straight. “Thatisme. I’m surprised you noticed, since you’re always so busy eye-fucking him yourself.” I smile at Eugene. “Sorry for my language,Dad.”
“That guy is Karen’s ex-boyfriend,” Rachel says, putting a hand on her hip. “She has rights.”
“Ex-boyfriend. I figure she doesn’t have rights anymore. I’m guessing you agree with me since you made a pass at him a couple of weeks ago.”
Rachel gapes at me.
“Oh yeah, I know all about that.”
Karen steals a glance at her friend, clearly confused. “What’s she talking about?”
