Page 36 of Single Mom for the Mountain Men
Involuntarily, reminders of James rise in my mind, but I push the thoughts down automatically, not wanting to spiral when I know Tanner isn’t being cruel on purpose.
I don’t think I’m being intrusive when I ask him about the people who attacked him, since I was present when it happened, along with my daughter. Still, if he thinks that I am, then I can’t change his mind.
“Fine. Be that way,” I tell him simply, my voice shakier than I would like it to be, and then, I leave his room.
My hand shakes around the doorknob as I twist it closed behind me before I walk off toward the living room.
Before I get too far, I hear Tanner’s voice call out to me. “Lena!”
I continue walking without responding or even looking back at him. There’s nothing I want to say to him now.
“Lena, wait! Hear me out!”
His hand grips my shoulder as he spins me around.
“Don’t put your hands on me,” I order him brusquely, my eyes narrowed and a finger raised at him in warning.
He takes a step back, and his face crumples with worry. “All right, all right, I’m sorry. I won’t, okay? I just want to talk to you about—”
“I don’t care. I don’t want to put my nose into places where it doesn’t belong,” I throw his words back at him, feeling a vindictive rush crawl through my body.
He frowns, looking ashamed. “I shouldn’t have said that, it’s not true. You only care for us, and that’s why you—”
“I don’t want to know,” I cut him off and fold my arms across my chest. “I don’t want to speak to you now. Do you understand me?”
“Lena,” he says defeatedly, shoulders drooping, “please, give me a chance to apologize. I never wanted to yell at you. Hurting you was never my intention, and I don’t think I can forgive myself if you stay mad at me.”
His voice is small, and his eyes are honest. The defensive position his body was in when I walked into his room has now mellowed into a softer, more receptive posture. It becomes harder and harder to be mad at him, knowing the things he just ran away from.God knows what happened out there when we all deserted him.
I sigh and blink at him. “All right. Let’s go to your room and talk.”
I accompany him back to his room, where he starts confessing everything. “Lena, I’m sorry. I never meant to yell at you or hurt you. Believe me, that wasn’t my intention. It was a very shitty thing to do, and I should have known better.”
“And you guys come at Aiden for having the shortest temper,” I mutter under my breath before sitting down on the chair.
He looks adequately chastised. “If you don’t want to forgive me now, I get it. I’m not forcing you to accept my apology. I’ll tell you about those men since you are the only one who cared enough to ask me about them.”
I nod at him, so he continues his story after taking a deep breath.
“I told you about my gambling habits, right? It was very hard to get out—and by that, I mean just the habit itself. The debt I racked up because of that shit is something I can never pay back, even if I were to rob banks for weeks on end. It isn’t humanly possible for me to pay it back in this lifetime.”
He sighs and paces around the room, clearly trying to gather his thoughts.
“That guy, the short one, is one of the lackeys of this gang I borrowed money from. They’re loan sharks. They hand out loans to people desperate for money, knowing they can’t ever pay the gang back. The same thing happened to me, except I gave them a fake name, so they could never track me down. Tanner Pratt. When he said that to me, the hair on my body stood up. It had been years since I had heard that name, but I knew I was fucked. They found me, and they were prepared to take their pound of flesh. I evaded them the best I could because I knew I couldn’t fight off all of them, especially not all at once.”
“Is there someone who might have snitched on you? Told them your location?”
He scoffs out a derisive laugh, scratching at his scalp. “Whowouldn’tsnitch on me is the question. I don’t know how they found me, but there’s so many people I wronged that it feels like there’s a target on my back every time I leave the cabin. My gut tells me that…something has changed recently.”
“Oh.”
“I—this is the thing I regret the most. I fell in with the wrong crowd at the wrong time. It would bring me the best adrenaline rush of my life, but I’ve been paying for it for years.”
“Why don’t you let Aiden and Brody help you out?” I propose softly, hoping he doesn’t blow up at the suggestion.
He sighs. “There’s no point. This is my problem, and I will deal with it on my own. God knows they suffer enough humiliation when they have to deal with my shit out in public like this. They were really excited to go to the farmers’ market with you and Sophie. I was, too. But…”
I approach Tanner slowly, as if I’m trying not to spook a wild animal. Once I’m in front of him, I look him directly in the eye. His face is void of any emotion, apart from the furrowing of his brows and the flat line of his mouth. But his eyes show his worry clearly.
