Page 61 of Eco-Activist's Mountain Men
In fact, if there were more companies like this, the world would be better off. The number of young trees they plant each year is just amazing. The pride they take in carefully harvesting timber only from replaceable resources, and the effort they make to help people like Eric from Oregon State University to identify, manage, and protect endangered species… It’s impressive. It should be applauded, not vilified.
So, if that’s the case, can I, in all conscience, continue to play an active part in Tim’s plan to discredit them through our banner campaign in about a week’s time?
Put like that, the answer is clear. I cannot do it. Not with a clear conscience.
That means letting Tim down. Letting the whole team down.
Well… is that such a bad thing?
I mean, look at Randy, and how he left me stuck in Portland to continue the mission on my own—because of his hamster, for fuck’s sake. As for Tim… he hasn’t shown a moment’s concern for my welfare after the “storm of the century,” which he must have known was hitting right about the time I was on that walkway, trying to secure the banner. He knew Randy had cried off and hadn’t warned me in advance. Oh no—he’d waited to tell me that piece of news afterward, hadn’t he?
So, no. I don’t think I need to beat myself up about disloyalty.
Okay. Good. That’s one thing settled.
I feel a huge sense of relief, as a psychological weight that I must have been carrying for quite a while suddenly lifts off my shoulders. I realize just how tense I’ve been. Just how much stress I’ve been carrying around because of this upcoming banner event I’d been roped—hahaha—into.
It feels good to have made the decision not to go ahead with it.
And that means I can now tell the guys, too.
Including Luke.
Hopefully, that will go some way toward helping him see I’m not the complete asshole he seems to have me down as.
Maybe.
He’s not the type to be easily swayed. Actually, that’s something I admire about the man, albeit grudgingly. He might be a complete asshole with his whole “I know better than you” attitude, but at least he’s honest about his opinions. At least he cares about the world.
Not to mention those muscles… and the size of his hands.
I can’t help wondering about the size of his… you-know-what. I bet it’s huge. I wonder what it would feel like. I’m only small. Would he be too big for me? Despite what men think, size really isn’t the most important thing. But with a man like that, a girl cannot help herself from wondering what it would be like…
No. I mustn’t allow myself to get distracted.
I still have a bigger problem to face.
All these men around me. Somehow, I seem to have managed to sleep with three out of the four of them, and now I’m starting to have erotic thoughts about the fourth.
This is very worrying. Am I a slut?
I’ve never thought of myself that way. I mean, sure, I’ve had several sexual partners before now—maybe a dozen, all told. But looking back, I was never what I would describe as easy. I was never the girl that others would nod to behind her back and point out as being some kind of good-time girl.
So, what’s got into me?
The only thing I can think of is the refreshing contrast I’ve been experiencing between these hulking mountain men up here and the soft, flabby college kids and activists I’ve been mingling with previously. It’s like chalk and cheese. Sure, I’m happy not to eat meat, and I’ll even try to remember someone’s pronoun preferences if that’s what makes them happy. But honestly, when it comes to choosing a lover, give me a real man any day.
Even Eric, in his own way. He’s genuine. He’s a true academic, actually breaking new ground with his studies. Sensitive, awkward, a little too earnest sometimes—but at least he’s doing something useful. He’s not just shouting about what other people are doing. He cares, even if he doesn’t always know how to show it.
So… do I actually love these mountain men?
Or is it just lust?
Or perhaps some kind of rebound—after spending so much time surrounded by soy boys on campus and the armchair warriors of Kill Climate Change?
I don’t think so.
I think it’s me finally finding what I really want. I’m learning. I’m maturing. I’m proactively choosing. No one is forcing me.
