Page 33 of Catch Me
Andreas grasps my elbow, leading me to the couch to sit before answering. He takes his seat in a chair on the opposite side of the round table from me. The condensed space of the trailer wraps around us, leaving me to realize that it’s really just the two of us in here.
“Stan wants me to agree to a relationship with a certain actress for publicity. She’s working on a film, too.”
It’s not surprising. You’d have to live under a rock these days to not know that a lot of the entertainment industry is smoke and mirrors. Fake relationships come and go all of the time. It shouldn’t cause a spark of jealousy inside of me.
Yet, that’s exactly what happens. I have to remind myself that Andreas Knight isn’t my possession.
“It’s okay to feel jealous.”
“What?” I ask, taken by surprise.
He casually hands me a plate with a turkey sandwich and chips on the side. He then nods to the bowls of fruit and vegetable salad on either side of where I’m sitting.
“Sandwiches are on the menu for today’s lunch. Is turkey okay?”
I nod.
He looks pleased at my answer.
“I said, it’s fine to feel jealousy over what I just said. I’d want to kick the ass of anyone who even thought about being your pretend boyfriend. And anyone who proposed it for that matter.”
“I’m not … It’s not like …” I sputter but then clamp my lips shut when he levels a look my way.
“I’m not doing it,” he says as if answering a question I never asked.
“Why not?”
His eyes meet mine and the plate in my hands wobbles slightly. I place it on the table.
“If your manager thinks it’ll help your career, then it’s probably a good idea.”
“I have my eyes on someone else, and I want to make it incredibly clear to her where I stand. And I’ve already told him I’m not doing this.”
My mouth opens and closes a couple of times. The question is on the tip of my tongue, but fear traps it there.
Andreas nods at my uneaten food. “You should eat.”
I take a bite of the turkey sandwich. My stomach growls from the first morsel of food it’s had all day. I skipped breakfast this morning, opting to log in an hour with Style Boxbefore driving to the set.
“Is the role living up to your expectations?” I ask after a few minutes of silence.
He wipes his mouth before sitting back in his chair with a smile on his face. “Better, to be honest.”
“How so?” I take a bite of my sandwich and then nearly drop it when I catch him staring at my mouth.
“A new obsession I wasn’t expecting came with this role.”
I cock my head to the side in confusion.
Andreas shakes his head. “Every role I’ve had, I’ve taken seriously,” he starts. “Worked with an acting coach, showed up early, left late, and most importantly gave my all to the part. With each character I’ve learned something.
“About life, about myself, relationships.” He draws out the last part, his eyes lingering on me.
“Every now and again during a scene, I lose myself in the character. Almost like I’m watching myself from the outside. It’s only happened once or twice with other roles.”
I know what it’s like to feel like you’re watching yourself from the outside. Only my experiences with it aren’t as enjoyable as Andreas’ experiences.
Panic attacks are hell on Earth.
