Page 150 of Catch Me
Ivy shakes her head. “I didn’t do much, honestly. Most of the designs had been established before I started on the movie.”
Before I can tell her not to downplay her contribution, she pulls her hand free of mine. I notice that her breathing has grown slightly erratic.
“If you will excuse me, I just have to run to the restroom.”
She holds up her hand when I go to follow.
“Stay. Enjoy your talk. I’ll be right back.”
The unease in my gut that started earlier continues to grow as I watch her walk away.
CHAPTER 44
Ivy
“Yo, you got me kicked out of the premiere!”
Dennis James’ sharp voice stops me in my tracks. I had hoped he hadn’t seen me when I extracted myself from Andreas and his conversation with the two directors.
I could feel my breathing growing more shallow and my heartbeat picking up. From the moment we got out of that limo I’ve been fighting off a panic attack. I tried hard to focus on Andreas and to be there for him.
While watching the film, I could allow myself to get lost in the movie because his acting was so phenomenal. But now, seeing Dennis James, standing next to my former boss, I'm not sure how I can get out of this without falling apart.
“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I try to brush past him toward the stairs, which leads to the rooftop of the building, but he moves in front of me.
“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he mocks. “You know what the fuck I’m talking about. You’re still mad because I talked a little bit of shit about you on my podcast. Yeah, you didn’t think I would remember you.”
“Don’t t-touch me,” I yell out when he tries to grab my arm.
“Dennis, maybe we should—” Rebecca, who’s been silent until this point, says.
“Look at you stuttering and shit,” Dennis continues, ignoring Rebecca. Then he starts cackling. “You’re about to have another one of those freakouts, aren’t you?”
That’s precisely when my heart starts beating so fiercely, my chest catches on fire, as if it’s on the verge of explosion.
“M-Move.” I push past him and burst through the door, tripping as I race up the stairs.
I’m beyond the point of trying to negotiate with my mind. This panic attack is going to happen. I just want to get as far away from anyone as possible when it does.
Embarrassment.
Failure.
My mind shudders as I cling to the railing, trying to pull myself up the staircase.
I throw my body against the metal door, forcing it open.
When I burst through, the feel of the night air against my skin aids in cooling my body temperature. The help doesn’t last long.
This panic attack is determined to have its way with me.
A tear escapes my eye, followed by another one. My entire body sinks into the abyss of my panic-stricken darkness and there’s not a damn thing I can do to stop it.
The helplessness that washes over me only serves to plummet me deeper.
My knees go weak, and I know I’m about to topple to the ground, but there’s nothing I can do to stop it. The irrational panic has overtaken my senses.
But the moment I begin falling, strong arms are there, catching me.
