Page 137 of Catch Me
“With only a half a semester left?”
“That’s right.” I take another sip of my wine and then break off a piece of the crusty bread. I don’t bother with the cheese.
I’m sure the bread is delicious, but all I swallow is the bitter taste of resentment and regret that lingers from that time.
“I’d accidentally written my home address on my financial aid application for that year. That’s why the office sent the forms home. I should’ve been paying attention,” I scold myself over my past actions.
“You should’ve had parents who supported you the way you deserved.”
The venom in Andreas’ voice tugs at the strings of my own bitterness. However, I suppress the instinct to agree with him.
“They did pay for?—”
“Baby, I don’t want to upset you by saying anything disrespectful about your parents. But if you’re going to sit here and defend them, I won’t be able to stop myself. The truth is, you deserved better.”
Deserved better.
Deserved?
That’s not a word I’ve ever associated with myself. No, maybe I was never allowed to associate it with myself. I was always taught that no one deserves anything in life.
To an extent, yes, that’s true. I’ve always believed you get what you work for, and if you get more than that you should be grateful for it. It’s not because you deserved it.
A sudden electrical warmth spreads through me. I glance down at my hand on the table to see Andreas has taken it into his own larger hand. He squeezes it, a silent transfer of strength from him to me.
“Yes, hard work has a place in all of our lives. We all should work hard to make our dreams happen. You shouldn’t have to work hard for the love and approval of your own parents.
“Your parents may have their reasons for what they did.”
He pauses, his lips pinching into a sour expression. He’s fighting so hard not to call my parents out of their name.
“But that doesn’t make it right. Their actions put pressure on you to pursue a life you weren’t passionate about just because they thought it would look good on them. They pushed you so hard that you had a panic attack on stage in front of thousands, and then they still failed to be the parents you needed.”
My mouth falls open.
He just said out loud what I’ve fought the past three years to deny. No, my panic attacks aren’t my parents’ fault directly, but their lack of support and constant pressure to be somebody other than I want to be didn’t help either.
“You deserved better, Ivy.” He squeezes my hand. “I’m sorry you didn’t get the parents you deserved. But I’m so damn proud of you for following your dreams. For coming out here even when you were scared shitless and unsure. Because it led you to me.”
He surprises me when he rises from his seat and moves around the table, his hand extended.
“Can I have this dance?”
I look around, only seeing a few waitstaff patiently waiting by the kitchen doors. Classical music plays from the hidden speakers.
“This is a dining area,” I remind him.
“And we’re the only two patrons here. I rented out this place because you wanted to try it and couldn’t get a reservation. Now, I want to hold you in my arms.”
There’s no way in hell I can turn a proposal like that down. I rise to my feet, and Andreas wraps me in his arms, bringing our bodies flush together.
Over his shoulder, I watch as our waitress emerges from the kitchen with plates in her hands. She pauses when she sees the two of us, then winks at me as she backs back into the kitchen.
I lay my head against Andreas’ shoulder.
“Do you ever think of finishing your degree?”
I pull back with a questioning expression.
