Page 36 of Ex- Factor
I should’ve been relaxed.
Instead, I was turning a beer bottle over in my hand, jaw tight, trying not to let a moment I should’ve already shaken fester in my chest. I was hurt and didn’t want to admit it.
Cassius caught me staring off and nodded once, eyes still on the grill. “You good?”
I shrugged, then took a sip. “You ever get stuck on some something dumb?”
He laughed. “Every day of my life. What kind of dumb we talking?”
I sighed—real deep. “She called him ‘her man.’”
Cassius blinked, not following at first.
“At the party,” I clarified. “When Eshe was going off on her ex and his wife. She said, ‘You married my man.’” I took another sip. “She was talking about him. Donte. Like he was still hers.”
Cassius leaned back in the patio chair, shoulders stretching under a black tee. “Damn. Shedidsay that. But I don’t think she meant it.”
“I know it doesn’t mean anything,” I added quickly, before either of them could say shit. “I know it was just the way she said it. She was drunk. Angry. But I heard it. And it stuck.”
Cassius stared at me for a long second, then nodded slowly. “I don’t even know what to say. I’d feel the same way.”
That didn’t help.
Jonas looked up from the grill and wiped his hands on a towel. “You know how long it took me to stop thinking Naomi would leave me?”
We both turned to him. Jonas didn’t talk much about that shit.
“I got a face full of scars, a record, and a past. Naomi looked like she walked out of somebody’s damn dreams—slim thick, pretty, head full of hair. She mean, and I liked that shit. The first year we were fucking around, I couldn’t sleep right. Every time she got dressed nice, I assumed she was doing it for somebody else.”
He took a long sip of water. “Then one day, I stopped making her pay for my insecurities. I believed her. That she chose me.”
Cassius nodded. “We all got something that messes with us. Angel called me ‘her friend’ when she knew I was in love with her. I ain’t let that go yet.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Seriously? After all you did?”
His eyes narrowed. “Fuck yeah. I know what I did, but that played a lot into what happened with us at the beginning.”
I let that conversation alone, because Cassius had been in the wrong from beginning to end. I was there—fed into some of it.
I looked toward the back door.
“I just…” I ran a hand over my face. “She’s everything. And I’m scared I’m gonna fuck it up before we even start. By being insecure.”
“You’re already in it,” Jonas said. “Scars and all. Just lean in and don’t talk yourself out of it. She’s good for you. We all see it.”
Before I could reply, the patio door swung open. Eshe stepped outside holding a glass tray of baked beans with steam rising off the top. Her hair was piled on top of her head in a lazy bun, curls spilling out, skin glowing under the patio lights.
She walked right over, bent down, and kissed me. A quick kiss. “You can’t eat these beans, Silas. Naomi made them extra spicy. And make sure you take your antacid before eating any BBQ.”
I just stared at her, bottle loose in my hand, because all that dumb shit I’d been carrying fell away the second her lips touched mine. She wasn’t even thinking about him. She wasn’t carrying Donte into this moment. That was me. That was my weight.
She turned to go back inside, but I caught her wrist.
She looked down at me. “What?”
“Nothing,” I said, voice low. “Just… I really like you in my house.”
She smiled, soft and real. “Good. I plan to be in it a lot more. I probably will never be able to afford this by myself. I’ma mooch off you as long as you let me.” She laughed.
