Page 24 of Ex- Factor
She stepped back, a towel wrapped around her body. She got into the shower and dropped the towel behind the glass door. My heart sped up, knowing she was naked on the other side. I could only see a shadow behind the frosted glass.
“I dare you to open the shower door,” I said.
Her head poked back out. “Hell no. Now what did you want to talk about?”
“The kiss,” I said, looking her dead in the eye.
She rolled her eyes and disappeared behind the steam again as the water turned on.
I leaned against the sink. “I just—I keep thinking about it. About how soft your lips were. How you tasted like strawberries. I understand what it means to swoon now.”
No response.
“What were you thinking just before you kissed me? Did you do it because I hit your ex?”
Still nothing. I heard the water splash.
“I’m serious, Eshe. That kiss was... more than a kiss. You kissed me like I belonged to you. What are we now?”
She started humming louder—just loud enough to drown me out.
I kept talking anyway. “You can ignore me if you want. But I know you felt it too.”
Steam rolled out over the shower door. I stared at her silhouette through the frosted glass. I could probably join her and she’d let me. But would she want to let me?
“You’re really not going to respond?” I asked.
Nothing.
But I swore I heard her laugh, low and smug, over the sound of the water.
“I think I’m in love,” I whispered to myself, low enough so she couldn’t hear.
Chapter Thirteen- Silas
“You like her?”
Dr. Bailey raised an eyebrow and leaned back in his chair. His office was warm, walls painted a calm, earthy green, and the couch was the same shade of gray as every therapist’s couch I’d ever seen on TV.
“I like her,” I said.
“Love her?”
I looked away, jaw tight. “That’s the thing. I don’t know.”
Dr. Bailey nodded, letting the silence stretch the way he always did, waiting for me to fill it.
“I mean… it feels like love. I think about her all the time. I like how I feel around her. Safe. Seen. But also… I don’t know if I’m just addicted to how she makes me feel. If I’m just… using her to fix some hole in me.”
“You feel like she’s filling a void?”
“Yeah.” I rubbed the back of my neck. “We haven’t known each other that long. But everything just clicked. I’ve been staying at her place. And not because she invited me. I just show up. I know her coffee order. I know what shoes she kicks off first. I know she hums when she’s mad, and she smells like vanilla and peace.”
“But you’re not sure if it’s love,” he said, writing something down.
“No. I think… I don’t know what real love is. I know I want to protect her. I want to show up for her. I want her to be proud of me.” I laughed once, dry. “But then, I might be in love. I kissed her and started thinking about ring size. Is that healthy?”
“It could be healthy,” Dr. Bailey said. “But what you’re describing sounds more like you’re trying to figure out if the way you’re attaching to her is about her… or about you.”
