Page 97 of All Wrapped Up
‘Oh, Clem,’ Ash softly said, ‘come here.’
I put the milk down and he stepped nearer and pulled me to him. He wrapped me in his arms and held me close to his chest. I relaxed and laid my cheek against his firm body, feeling so safe that I didn’t think I’d ever want to move away again. Pixie, however, had other ideas and barked until we broke apart and he picked her up in place of hugging me.
‘Thank you for that,’ I smiled. ‘I really needed it.’
‘Anytime,’ he said, his cheeks turning warm and pink. ‘Now, I hope you’re not jealous, madam,’ he then said sternly to Pixieas she licked his nose. ‘There’s room for more than one wonderful woman in my life, you know.’
Having seen him hug someone at Skylark Farm on the day the pumpkin field opened, I already knew that, but it didn’t diminish my appreciation of the embrace he had just, with perfect timing, bestowed upon me.
I watched as he put Pixie down again and then I handed him back the milk to return to the fridge, in a move that felt well-practiced and familiar given the number of times he’d called in recently.
‘I don’t think you will have done, Ash,’ I then unexpectedly heard myself say, ‘because I’m sure I’d sense a change in you, but have you looked up online what happened to Callum?’
‘Absolutely not,’ he hastily told me, sounding a little offended.
‘I’m sorry,’ I quickly said. ‘I don’t know why I asked you that.’
‘I have more respect for you than to do that.’
‘I know you do,’ I apologised again. ‘I know. I’m sorry.’
‘It’s okay,’ he then said. ‘I suppose you were bound to wonder and there are probably plenty of people in my position who would have done. That said, before you start thinking it too, I’m sure Lizzie and the others won’t have looked either.’
I nodded and poured the boiled water into the mugs, then thoughtfully stirred them both.
‘What is it?’ Ash asked, picking up that I was pondering something else.
‘I can’t seem to stop thinking,’ I slowly said, now his hug had staved off the brief overwhelm and allowed more rational thoughts to return, ‘and not only because of Joanne’s Greatest Gaff, that it might be time I told a few people that I’m a widow.’
Ash’s eyes widened and I wasn’t surprised, because I was amazed myself. I had fleetingly considered the possibility before, but then put it on the backburner when faced with the busyness of organising the festival. I realised I hadn’t been ready then; however, since Saturday, things now felt as if they were gathering steam and coming to a head.
‘I’ve made some genuine connections here now,’ I said aloud, to further explain my change of heart, ‘and put down some roots that reach way beyond the cottage boundary. So, I think it might be time. What do you think?’
‘I think,’ Ash seriously said, ‘that sounds wonderful and you’re absolutely right.’
‘Really?’
‘Really,’ he carried on eagerly. ‘You’ve made wonderful friends here, Clemmie, and friends talk, don’t they? They share things, secret things that might otherwise become a burden, they talk about their past—’
‘They do,’ I cut in. ‘They do all those things.’
‘You love Rowan Cottage,’ he forged on, encouraged by my enthusiasm, ‘and you love Wynbridge now too, and I think you want to settle hereproperly, but you won’t be able to do that if you’re constantly looking over your shoulder and worrying that someone might find something out about you that you’ve left unsaid, will you?’
‘I won’t,’ I acknowledged. ‘And I’d always be scared that if my story did come out and I hadn’t said anything, then my friends would be hurt because they hadn’t known one of the biggest things about me. Being widowed, at such a young age, is a huge thing to keep from those you care for, isn’t it?’
‘It is,’ Ash agreed. ‘And you know as well as I do, that friends, true friends—’
‘Share.’
‘Exactly,’ he smiled kindly and I handed him one of the mugs. ‘Obviously, you don’t have to tell everyone, but I do think that telling those closest to you will help you live a much fuller life here. It will help your friends build up a picture of you as they get to know you better, too. I know that I understand you more as a result of what you’ve shared with me.’
‘You do?’
He looked at me for a long moment.
‘Yes,’ he said, then looked away. ‘Knowing that you’ve loved and lost, that you’ve lived through this immense tragedy in your young life, explains a lot.’
I let out a long breath. Ash had a knack of making me feel seen. Seen, heard and understood and I valued that immensely. I could imagine he and Callum would have been friends, but I wasn’t sure how the thought of that made me feel…
