Page 110 of All Wrapped Up
‘You certainly are,’ he told me. ‘You’re the hot topic all right. It’s just that the talking is happening when you’re not around to hear it.’
‘Oh well,’ I sighed. ‘I can’t control that.’
‘And you don’t need to worry about it either,’ he insisted, ‘because everyone is being very kind.’
‘I’m not worried,’ I truthfully told him, but it was nice to know people were being considerate when they were discussing me.
‘So, what are you bringing back then?’ Jason asked, as I took the two books out of my bag.
‘One non-fiction about the Fens and Milly Johnson,An Autumn Crush.’
‘I’ve just picked that up,’ he said, showing me his copy ofMilly’s well-thumbed book. ‘Is it as good as her others? I can’t believe I hadn’t read this one.’
‘Yes,’ I said, taken aback but trying not to show it, ‘I really enjoyed it. ThoughA Spring Affairis still my favourite from the Four Seasons collection.’
‘Mine too,’ he agreed. ‘I love a good declutter.’
I shook my head. ‘You’re full of surprises,’ I laughed.
‘Perhaps I am,’ he said as I returned the books, stepped aside and folded up my now-empty tote. ‘Though I’ve never parted with anything of Cassy’s when I’ve been having a clear out. Have you thought any more about what I said in the pub?’
‘Which bit?’
He inclined his head to a quieter spot behind some true crime filled shelves and I followed him over to it.
‘The bit about not ending up like me,’ he said in a low voice.
I looked him up and down.
‘You look all right,’ I told him, with a smile. ‘Especially now you’ve dropped the mean old man act.’
Unfortunately, he wasn’t to be distracted, even though I wanted him to be.
‘You know what I’m getting at,’ he said and the sadness in his tone made me regret my flippant comment even though it had been intended to lighten the mood.
‘I do know,’ I said, feeling chastened. ‘You don’t want me to stay on my own forever, do you?’
‘That’s it exactly.’
‘Even though my heart still belongs to the man I lost,’ I reminded him. ‘And always will.’
‘Perhaps,’ he said, eyeing me quizzically.
‘No perhaps about it,’ I said forcefully. ‘Because there isn’t another candidate in the universe capable of making it switch allegiance.’
‘Loving someone new wouldn’t mean forgetting who had gone before, you know,’ he batted back. ‘It’s nothing to do with switching allegiance.’
That ethos sounded like a pot and kettle situation given who was spouting it. He hadn’t moved on from his first lost love, so he really had no right to suggest I should. Even if he had inferred that it was something he now regretted.
‘Well, that’s as maybe,’ I said, ‘but this heart is not for turning. Or sharing. Which is fine, because no one’s about to fall for me.’
Jason snorted so loudly that the librarian at the desk shot him a look.
‘Sorry,’ he mouthed.
‘What was that for?’ I tutted.
He looked at me with an expression that was a mixture of bewilderment, confusion and disbelief. It wasn’t an easy look to pull off, but he somehow managed it.
