Page 86 of Pillow Talk
He switched on the television and then switched it off again.
‘What can I possibly say? I ended it. Shona doesn’t trust me,’ he said.
‘But did you talk to her about it? Did you at least explain?’
He nodded and shoved another handful of popcorn in his mouth. He chewed loudly to annoy Kaavi.
She clicked her tongue. ‘And what did Shona say?’
‘Nothing because I told her it wasn’t working out and it was over,’ he casually replied.
‘Do you really win any of your cases…because you are so dumb,’ Kaavi said.
Sen’s head jerked back and he glared at her.
‘I winallmy cases. I am not dumb. Shona is complicated. She doesn’t know how to communicate, even if you give her a chance to. She just jumps to conclusions,’ he retorted – a little too defensively.
He looked away. He was remembering Shona at Anni’smother’s funeral – how she’d huddled close to Anni on a pew in the church, with MrsShah’s protective arm stretched around them. MrShah had said a few words – more to let Anni know that she wasn’t alone and that she had a family than to eulogise her mother. No one could really say anything in her favour anyway. Sen’s grandfather had accompanied him and made sure that Anni knew he was also looking out for her.
Sen had hung back. He was already at university and Shona at college by then, and something that had happened two summers before had altered their friendship. After Shona’s confession about having a crush on him, he now knew their friendship had shifted at the bonfire because of Andrea.
But that day at the funeral, Shona had looked at him with sadness and it wasn’t because Anni’s mother had died but probably because she’d realised she’d lost him for good. He was too blind back then to see that he, too, had harboured feelings for Shona. Maybe Kaavi was right because now, as a man, he was too stupid to admit hedidhave feelings for her.
‘How would you have felt if you’d seen Shona kissing another man?’ Kaavi interrupted his thoughts.
‘I didn’t kiss anyone! I pushed her away,’ he replied through gritted teeth.
‘You know what I mean,’ his cousin said.
He put his bowl of popcorn on the coffee table and, ignoring his oily fingertips, ran his hand through his hair. Kaavi was frustrating him.
‘Sen, you know sometimes when you walk away, you can’t go back and you’ll regret it forever,’ she said solemnly.
Sen studied her face.
‘Is there something you want to talk about?’ he asked gently.
She scoffed. ‘Of course not. I don’t have time for relationships and love.’
Sen wasn’t convinced, but he knew his cousin well enough toknow that she would tell him when she was ready.
‘Shona didn’t even think twice about ghosting me and that hurt, okay?’
‘So your ego is bruised?’
Fuck it. He was going to lay it all out on the table.
He placed his palm over his heart. ‘No Kaavi. My heart hurts.’
Kaavi sat up straighter and looked at him closely. Really closely. ‘You’re in love with Shona.’
‘Isn’t it obvious?’ he said, reaching for his popcorn again.
‘Then why end it?’
‘Because I don’t want to get hurt. It’s not worth the risk,’ he said, shoving a handful of popcorn in his mouth.
Kaavi shook her head. ‘You’re a bigger fool than I thought you were.’
