Page 8 of Four Weddings and a Funeral Director
The cosy crowd pressed into the theatre, which was a riot of floral carpet and plush, impossibly oversized couches banded with gold. The concessions stand queue was almost as long as the line for the women’s bathroom: dozens of people crowded around ordering giant boxes of popcorn and equally generous pours of beer. The warm aroma of popcorn and freshly baked cookies buttered the air.
‘This place is gorgeous,’ breathed Lily, imagining the type of wedding she could host here. What a stunning event space! And well intentioned, too, given the signs noting that profits from the showing would be donated to a local animal shelter.
‘That’s Aunt Dot over there,’ said Angela, pointing out a vivacious woman in a dramatic muumuu and turban combination. ‘Hey, Dot! Come meet Lily!’
Dot waggled her fingers at Angela. Shoving up a half-door on the counter, she came over to greet them.
‘Lily! You’re in Janessa’s space, next to the funeral home! That’s where I got this.’ She tapped the swan-shaped jewel inthe middle of her turban proudly. ‘We’re going to love having you here in Mirage-by-the-Sea. There’s a small business owners meeting at the library next week. Join us! You can meet the giant goldfish in the library fish tank. Jaws.’
‘Sure.’ Lily never passed up an opportunity to meet someone new, and Dot looked like a hoot. ‘I’ll bring wedding cake samples. And decorative napkins.’
‘Sounds like a date.’
‘Aunt Dot, do you have your stamp handy?’
‘Do I ever!’ Pulling a stick of wax from her bra, she heated it up with a gold cigarette lighter, waiting for the dollop of wax to drop on Lily’s treasure map. This she jabbed with the giant ring on her index finger, leaving an ornate seal. ‘How’s that.’
‘That’s … remarkable,’ said Lily.
‘I aim to surprise. Well, this popcorn isn’t going to serve itself.’ Dot waved, then returned to dispensing popcorn and beer to the hungry crowd.
‘In we go!’ Tink guided Angela and Lily towards the theatre door. ‘Oh, I love this theatre so much. And the fact that everyone gets so dressed up, like we’re a town of old-school glitterati.’
The trio pressed into the theatre, which was a dazzling space crafted from endless red velvet and elaborately painted rosettes. Heavy curtains draped the sides of the room and the screen in front, and tiered, geometric lights glinted like glass wedding cakes.
Lily was so focused on contemplating how a cake maker might actually reproduce these that she required a nudge from Angela to turn her attention to the tall, broad-shouldered guy in a very well-fitting tuxedo – with tails! – stalking down the dimly lit aisle towards the front of the theatre. Poor thing must have arrived too late for any of the decent seats.
Lily blinked as the guy passed them, his head turning, briefly, just long enough to catch her eye. She blanched – Mort? Mort was here? And in a top hat and tails, no less.
Then Mort took a seat at the piano on the stage.
Lily sloshed her drink.Mortwas playing the film score?
‘Are you all right?’ whispered Angela, passing Lily a crumpled tissue from her handbag. ‘You look like you’ve seen—’
‘The love of your life,’ whispered Tink. ‘I’d know that double take anywhere.’
‘Shh!’ whispered an old guy behind them. Turning sheepishly, Lily recognised him as Roddy, the village’s bicycle delivery guy. She offered him an M&M in apology, receiving a wink of forgiveness in return.
The theatre lights softened until only the faintest light glowed along the aisles and over the doors.
There was a hum of microphone feedback as Aunt Dot swanned out on stage.
‘Thank you, all, for coming out on this beautiful Thursday evening! Rerunning Up That Hill is one of the many jewels of Mirage-by-the-Sea, and I’m honoured that you chose my dinky theatre over all the other options. Like The Hot Pot. Or the ocean. Or the funeral home.’
A light laugh rose up as Mort waved awkwardly and tinkled out a quick few improvised notes.
‘Tonight’s showing isVice Versa, an amazing British science fantasy film where a schoolboy swaps places with his father. If you loveFreaky Friday– and who doesn’t – you’ll love this one. Especially with Mort Vesper on the ivories.’
With a creaking sound, the curtain rose, and the wobbly sounds of the world’s ricketiest piano filled the air.
Of course, the muffled tone of the piano, together with theslight ringing sound that overhung it, could have been due to Lily’s slightly-too-fast breathing.
Ahem. Lily chowed down on her popcorn and tried to focus on the movie – and not the moody soundtrack played by the pianist with the dark, beautiful eyes.
Fatal Attraction
Mort
