Page 59 of Zel
Zel couldn’t risk Rudy doing something else foolish, so he kept his reply vaguer than usual. He took minor comfort in that Rudy had made no mention, not even coded, of having discovered Zel’s secret.
Only to Sophie and Gregor did Zel give hints that his mission had changed. He assured them that this was what he wanted and warned them in veiled terms to be ready for a siege upon the guild.
Zel refused to feel guilt for those he and Ulrich had killed in self-defense, but he did not want thoughtless slaughter of his peers. Nor did he wish to add to the weight on his shoulders that had always been more about fate than follicles.
Those follicles were not cooperating as hoped when Zel attempted to practice with them as weapons on purpose.
A faint swish was Zel’s only reward as the section of hair he had sent outward like a lash missed its target and slapped against the wall. Winding it back into his braids was easy, and he did so each time, since it would have to be a surprise attack or prove useless. But no matter how second-nature it was to braid or unbraid his hair now, aiming it like a herder’s whip was not so effortlessly learned. He had grabbed Louisa seemingly by instinct and could not repeat the results.
“I will succeed,” Zel repeated his old mantra. “I am ready for this. I am fierce and beautiful and capable.” His hair launched forward like a striking snake—
“That you are.”
—and smacked the goblet he had intended to grab.
It happened slowly, like time paused as Zel held his breath, because the goblet was about to slosh its contents onto his letters, and would have if Ulrich didn’t sweep forward like descending shadows and catch it before it spilled.
“Apologies!” Ulrich said. “I did not intend to startle you. Would you perhaps prefer the sparring chamber for these tests?”
“Why bother, when I can’t even lasso a cup?” Zel wound the hair back into his braids with an angry whip that nearly slapped Ulrich like it had the goblet. “Sorry! My apologies now.”
“You are frustrated.” Ulrich steadied the goblet and turned to lean against the desk.
“Endlessly, it seems. A slow grab is doable, but slow will not serve us in the coming fight. If only I were as wondrous as you.” Zel offered a wistful smile. “I would be if we could make me immortal before we raid the guild.”
“As I have told you, much as I fear for your safety, we cannot. Some magic is little more than a parlor trick requiring no exchange. Some is fickle and demands precision to work as intended. Your magic must be at its utmost peak to drain mine, and that will only be at the appointed hour. The final night ofour month together is a full moon, when the gods’ eyes are most open.”
“To look on us and grant me eternal life in the mingling of our power?” Zel felt calmer simply imagining it and moved toward Ulrich to find his place in the sorcerer’s arms.
Ulrich opened them, parting his legs where he leaned against the desk, and gathered Zel to him. “Whether any gods truly look on us, I cannot say.”
“It is no matter to me if they do or do not, if there is one human God or the many the elves worship, so long as we succeed.”
“We will. For I am quite wondrous.”
Zel snickered.
“You are wondrous too, Zel, just as you are.” Ulrich kissed Zel’s forehead, then his lips. Afterward, he looked at the desk. “Your letters are dry. Shall I…” But his words trailed off.
“What is it?”
“Only a curiosity. You sign your lettersZel.”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“Rudy addresses you as such, usually, but your parents always address their letters toRapunzel.”
Even as only an explanation, the name made Zel sneer. He had begun to distance himself from it more and more while in Ulrich’s company. “That is what they call me.”
“They do not abide by your wishes to be called Zel?”
“I’ve never asked them to.”
“Why is that?” Ulrich faced Zel again, as the letters folded themselves and flew out the window like usual.
“It’s silly. They are the last people I need to ask, the last that matter, but I always shy from correcting them. Maybe when all this is over, I will say something.”
“You needn’t hesitate, Zel. You can be whoever you wish to be. Man, woman, neither, both. Whatever the answer, that is what I shall call you, how I shall see you, and others should too.”
