Page 29 of Privilege
When I finally crest, I collapse back onto the mattress and wince a little as I pull my fingers out. My cheeks redden, and I am a little embarrassed by how far inside myself I’d shoved my hand.But fuck, did it feel good.
I glance at Rich, still sound asleep beside me, and wait for the pang of guilt to hit me but it doesn’t. I fall asleep in a pool of my own cum, dreaming about my hands on Rich, and Dane’s hands on me.
One Year Ago
Dane
My stomach is inknots. The last time I was here, I came all over myself watching my little brother jack off.
It’s been a weird year. The number of times a day I went to text him, call him, tell him I’m sorry for fucking off and leaving without a word, was immeasurable. But what was I supposed to tell him?Sorry bro, your balls get me really hard?
I close my eyes and clench my fists and try to take a deep breath. I’ve missed him like crazy.
He won’t be home until late. The water polo team is out celebrating graduation and I didn’t tell him I’dbe coming home tonight, just in case I bailed. But I find myself wandering around Blackstone with a tumbler of whisky in my hand, marvelling at how fuckingsoullessthis house is.
I’ve spent the past year with little more than a backpack to my name. The hotels—mostly hostels—aren’t generally more than a bed and a toilet. I’m lucky if there’s a shower. But it’s all I can afford to spend, and I’ve gotten used to it.
Some of the guys have met up with me and put me up at some nicer places, let me rack up a decent room service bill. But more than I thought joined me in the trenches, keen to have the ‘authentic’ backpacking experience.
Most of them assume I’m doing the budget thing for the shits and giggles. None of them know the truth.
I swirl the ice cubes in my glass, theclinkechoing inside the marble foyer of Blackstone. This place is perfect for my dad. And for Evelyn. Cold. Expensive.Empty.
I breathe out a long sigh, guilt curdling in my belly. I should never have left my brother. I should have waited for him. Or brought him with me. Orsomething.
Images of his hand wrapped around his thick shaft poke at my peripheral vision and make me want to gauge out my eyes. I need to keep this in check—because I finally have my shit together. I finally have a plan. And I need to have a cool head when I tell Rich that I want him to come to Europe with me after he graduates.
Better late than never.
I don’t know what it means for his athletic scholarship to Harvard. I’m not sure if he can, or even wants, to delay a year. But the entire time I’ve been gone, all I’ve been able to think of is how much better this freedom would taste with him by my side. And how much sweeter revenge could be.
I wander on over to the sideboard and pour myself more whisky from the crystal decanter. I’m swaying a little but I don’t care. I can’t fucking wait to see my brother.
“Dane,” comes a voice from behind me.
Right on time.Evelyn has arrived to ruin the mood.
“Evelyn,” I say coldly.
“What do you want,” she says.
Oh great. No preamble.
“World peace.”
She glides towards me, theclick click clickof her stilettos on the marble floors like a ticking landmine. She stands in front of me, hands on her hips
“You will not ruin Richie’s graduation,” she hisses. “Tell me what you want so I can arrange for you to have it and get out.”
I’m not sure if it’s her or the whisky that’s set my whole chest on fire.
I stare her down and say nothing. It’s none of her business why I’m home. It’s a free country. I don’t need to explain myself, especially not to thisbitch.We’ve happily survived the past twelve months without exchanging a word. She can survive the next ten minutes.
She pokes my chest with her pointed, blood red nail and leans in threateningly. “I’m warning you Dane. You will not fuck this up for us. Do you understand? He’s got Harvard, and your dad’s business, and an entire future that I’ve sacrificed for. And you arenotin it.”
Evelyn made me nervous, once upon a time. She reminded me of a viper I’d seen at the zoo once. But I’m not nine years old anymore. She’s not the new step-mother I’ve been hounded to be polite to, with the terrified-looking eight-year-old in tow. AllI see is the tightness around her eyes from her recent botox, the falsely plumped bottom lip full of injections, the hair, and the makeup, and the nails, and the dress. All window dressing to hide that everything she has is a result of life insurance money.
Laughter bubbles up on my lips and I can’t hold it back. It pries open my jaws and frees itself, explodes out of my belly and echoes throughout the house.
