Page 157 of The Delta's Rogue
Once the first bag is empty, he moves to the second. The clothing in that bag is smaller, Sarina sized, and he places it all in the bottom two drawers—one item of clothing at a time. He places each piece with care and precision, drawing out the monotony of it as if he’s using the mindless task to forget about everything else hanging over us.
I want to forget all of it too. I want to curl up in the cozy bed, close my eyes, and sleep the pain away. But I can’t. My mind won’t let me. It will continue racing and spiraling unless I clear the air between us. There will be no sleep for me unless I get everything out into the open.
“Sebastian.” I lick my lips.
He pauses his movements as he slides a thin, narrow black box out of the bag.
“Sebastian, I owe you an explanation.”
Sebastian glances at mefrom the corner of his eye as he removes the now empty bags from the dresser and sets that slim box on top of a folded blanket. His glance is the only clue he gives me that he’s listening.
I latch onto it and launch into a rambling, jumbled version of the speech I’ve been thinking about all day. “This isn’t common knowledge, but the bond is different for us, as the royal family, because we’re descended from the first lycan, Conan.”
Sebastian turns to face me. His hands slip into the front pocket of his sweatshirt, and he leans against the dresser, waiting for me to continue.
I fold my hands in my lap to prevent myself from fidgeting, and I sit up straighter. “It’s stronger for us because Conan’s bond with Asteria was the first mate bond, and for whatever reason, the magic Selene used to forge their bond hasn’t dwindled or diluted itself with each generation. It didn’t diminish after Asteria died or when Conan found his second-chance mate. We feel it sooner, and we feel it deeper than all other lycans and werewolves.”
Sebastian lifts his chin higher.
I swallow, tucking my hair behind my ears before setting my hands on my thighs. “I’ve known you were my mate since the day you all arrived at the palace. I saw you with your messy hair, your rainy-day eyes, and your sarcastic grin, and I just… Iknewyou would always be the most important person in my life. For your entire visit, all I wanted to do was be around you and spend time with you.”
“I remember that,” he says. “You followed me everywhere and showed up wherever I was.”
I nod. “I was devastated when you left.”
“I remember that too,” he whispers. “You made me promise we’d see each other again.”
“On the greenhouse roof, yes.” My voice drops to the same volume as his.
We’re quiet for a moment as we both recall that night and the very first promise he made to me—the promise that started it all.
I squeeze my folded hands tighter and charge forward with my speech. “When our intel led us to Crescent Lake, I vowed to myself I’d stay away from your pack unless absolutely necessary. But then I saw you in the forest, and Goddess, Sebastian… The bond was so compelling, so much stronger than it was when we were kids. I didn’t think about what I was doing when I tackled you. I was just so excited to see you again.” I shrug. “The thought that you wouldn’t remember me didn’t cross my mind until I had you pinned.”
He shifts his weight between his feet, but his face remains blank. He gives nothing away about his feelings or his thoughts on my confession.
I press on. “It drove you crazy.Idrove you crazy. Probably because part of you knew who I was, because part of you remembered me but the spell protecting me prevented you from realizing it. So I poked and prodded and nudged, trying to drop hints and clues to tell you without telling you, to get you to remember me even though I knew the chances of that happening were close to none.”
I chuckle and lift my face to the ceiling, blinking back against the itchiness in my eyes. “Do you know how hard it is for a seven-year-old to keep a massive secret like that? Or how hard it is for a nineteen-year-old to be unable to tell the male she’s in love with the truth about everything they are to each other and everything she is? I wanted to. I wanted to so badly. But I couldn’t. My life, the lives of my friends and family, and the lives of the girls we were trying to save—the girls we’re still trying to save—depended on me keeping it all a secret.” My lips pinch together, and I swipe under my eyes with my fingertips before I meet his gaze with a bravery I don’t feel. “But yes. If you’d left with me four years ago, if you’d joined us, I would have told you the truth about who I am. I wouldn’t have had a choice.”
“Is that why you didn’t ask me to join you?” he asks.
“You were so insistent that you didn’t want to be an alpha. I was terrified that if you knew the truth, if you knew being with me meant you’d be king, that once you felt the mate bond, you’d…” My lip quivers, and a tear falls from my lashes. I clear my throat against the painful lump forming there. “My whole life—” My voice breaks, and I clear my throat again. “My whole life, all I’ve wanted are two things: to live up to the legacy of my ancestors when my father gives me the crown, and to be with my mate. With you.”
I exhale, then I push through the rest of my speech, spitting the words out as fast as I can before I lose my steam, before that nasty, choking submissiveness wraps itself around me again. “You can have as much or as little responsibility as you want. You can be king in title only and have nothing to do with running the kingdom. Or you can be my partner, my teammate, and rule with me, helping me make all the tough decisions. I don’t care. I don’t care which you choose, but I need you with me. You are my mate—the first and only love of my life—and I need you by my side. Because at the end of the day, in the dark of the night, when I’m done taking care of and protecting our kingdom—our people—or when the weight of the crown becomes heavier than it should, or when the memories attack me from all sides and I can’t tell what’s a dream and what’s real, I’ll need someone who can take care of me and protect me.”
I clench my jaw to prevent myself from saying anything else. I already unloaded so much onto him and said more than I should have. He’s my Dom. He’s in charge. I’m supposed to be quiet and pretty, and instead I prattled on and on, trying to fill the silence left by his minimal responses.
He ducks his head and sighs, then grabs the back of his hoodie, lifting it over his head and tossing it behind him onto the dresser without looking at it. His hands rest on his hips, and the hint of a smile tugs at his lips as he stands there with his chest puffed out like a proud peacock, showing off his shirt and maintaining his pose for me to read the words written across the front in glittery, hot pink puff paint.
Luna Sebastian, it says.
The noise that escapes me once my brain comprehends what is on his shirt is an embarrassing combination of laughter and sobbing. My face falls into my hands, and the awkward sounds jostle my entire body. Tears run like a river from my eyes and into my palms.
The bed dips as it takes Sebastian’s weight, and before he can touch me, I fling myself into his arms. He catches me, perched on the edge of the bed, and hugs me to his chest with his full strength.
The pit in my stomach shrinks as I cry and laugh against his shoulder, dampening his ridiculous, cheesy shirt with my tears. His muscular arms around me create a harbor of safety and comfort—a sensation I crave— and I relax into it as we cling to each other.
“I’ve got you,cariño.” His deep voice vibrates in his chest and through my body.
