Page 145 of The Delta's Rogue
“Wesley told Nolan and me while you were on your tant-run. And I saw the bags in your room when Taryn and I grabbed clothes for you last night.”
“My instincts…” I explain. “They’re different. Darker.”
“Is this supposed to surprise me? I’ve heard—in minimal detail to protect my weak stomach, mind you—of the torture methods you’ve concocted.”
“It’s not just my ability to think up the methods. It’s that I enjoy it. I crave it. Passing out punishments, doling out death—it satisfies every urge within me. There is this darkness lurking within me, Reid. A darkness I’ve hidden for a long time. A darkness I wish I could unleash and keep at the surface so everyone would know exactly what I’m capable of.”
As I speak, I slowly let that darkness loose, let it mix with my aura. As it seeps into my cells and my strength, I relax. The omnipresent tension I’m accustomed to fades from all my muscles.
My lycan stretches and rolls his neck in a circle, practically moaning in delight at the rare release of the darkness we both crave.
“I’m terrified of what I’d do if I was an alpha. That’s why I’ve never wanted my own pack. That’s why I’m content to stay as the delta, as our head warrior, instead of taking on a higher-ranking position.”
I meet his eyes, holding eye contact with him as my dark aura fills the room. His chin lowers when the aura passes over him, but he doesn’t flinch or shudder or cower. He just offers me his deference, his respect.
“Did it ever occur to you that you have these instinctsbecauseyou were meant to be the king? So you can protect your mate, our queen? So you can protect all of us?”
“I don’t want to be king,” I choke out.
“And your lycan? Does he feel the same way? Because, in my experience, if your wolf doesn’t agree with your idea, it’s usually because it’s a bad one.”
My nostrils flare.
My lycan continues to revel in the darkness swirling within me. He’s blocked me from his instincts on our new rank. He’s made his feelings on how I reacted to Sarina very clear, but he’s left me floundering with this recent development, left me to fend for myself.
Bastard.
“And,” Reid continues, “it’s not like you’ll actually be the alpha. King Malachi said Sarina will be alpha. You’ll be…” He glances at me as he fights to contain his glee. “You’ll be her luna.”
I stare at him. “I don’t think that’s how it works.”
His lips twitch, and he nods, ignoring my denial. “Luna Sebastian.”
I sigh.
I see what he’s doing. He’s trying to lighten the mood, to distract me from my thunderstorm rage. He’s doing for me what I did for him.
“You heard her dad. She’ll be the queen, and I’ll be the king. I don’t want it,” I reiterate.
“So, you’re going to reject her?”
My aura pulses, tightening around Reid. “Excuse me?”
“If you don’t want to be our king, then you’ll have to reject her. Unless you ask her to give up her title.”
“She’s trained for this her whole life. I can’t ask her to do that.”
He shrugs. “Then I guess you’ll be rejecting her.”
I growl and snarl, and slam my fist against the counter, holding myself back from strangling Reid for even suggesting I get rid of her like she means absolutely nothing to me. My lycan lunges against the barrier of my mind, jaws snapping at Reid, fueling my aura to expand until it fills the entire house.
“Which would be worse: ruling over all the packs with the female you love, or rejecting her and losing her forever?” Reid crosses the kitchen and claps his hand on my shoulder. He keeps his head lowered, mindful of my volatility, but he gives me a subtle, reassuring squeeze. “She needs you, Seb. And you need her.”
I exhale and rein in my aura. His words, his questions and reassurances, all bounce around in my mind, echoing and dancing. Some are louder than others, but they all repeat incessantly in my brain, like a broken record playing our conversation back to me.
There’s so much to think about. So much to consider.
And there isn’t much time for me to bring myself back to a levelheaded place. Not with the threat of the traffickers still looming over us. Not when we need to find their headquarters, and craft a plan to take them out and rescue any girls they still have in their clutches.
