Page 68 of Hidden Vows
I look around the space George and his team just vacated. The renovations are done and the store is officially mine, and not once has my dad stopped in to see how everything has progressed. It’s yet another thing that shouldn’t surprise me.
“No, it’s nothing about the bookstore.”
The bell above the door rings—the first thing I put back in place after George left—and I spin to find Jude standing there, his eyes taking in everything around him.
I wanted to have this conversation with my dad in person, andI definitely planned for it to be without Jude around, but the second his eyes land on mine and that smile he only ever has for me makes an appearance, I know that second idea was a mistake. Having Jude by my side will only ever be a benefit to me.
“I wanted to talk to you about what happened when you threatened Jude, the first time.”
With my eyes focused only on Jude, I see the moment his smile falls and his body goes taut. I didn’t tell him I was planning on having this conversation with my dad, but he should’ve known I wasn’t going to let it go. Especially when he’s continued to threaten Jude.
Jude doesn’t let the tension coursing through his body stop him. He moves into my space, gripping my free hand in his, proving that he’s here with me for whatever I need.
“Abbey.” Dad’s tone is so sharp, it almost makes me flinch, but with Jude’s strength I push forward.
“It’s time you stopped hiding behind whatever perceived wrong you believe to be true. Just tell me what happened.”
“There’s nothing to tell.” His words are so low, I almost miss them. It takes a moment for him to continue. “I thought I was keeping you safe. I still believe I’m keeping you safe. The Murphys will only bring you pain, but if you need to learn that for yourself—again—then so be it.”
“Dad—”
“I told you work’s been busy,” he interrupts. “I don’t have time to discuss this more.” His words are clipped, and I’m shocked when he continues with an almost proper goodbye. “I’ll be back in Ashford Falls in time for your opening. Talk soon.” And with that, the line goes dead.
It takes me a couple seconds to finally pull the phone away from my ear, but Jude is instantly moving further into my space,ensuring all my focus is on him. “What do you need?”
Trying like hell not to let the tears slip free, I let my head fall against Jude’s chest and my arms wrap around his waist. Jude doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around me, pulling me in tighter to his body. When his lips land on the top of my head, I can’t stop the tears from leaking out.
This comfort right here, it’s everything I’ve always wanted—knowing there’s someone I can lean on to help support me through the tough times. I know I’m capable of doing it on my own, for the most part I have ever since my mother died, but just because I can doesn’t mean I have to.
“Love,” Jude whispers against me. “What can I do?”
“Nothing. This is more than enough.” And it is. Being in his arms is exactly what I want right now.
Jude lets me soak in the comfort of his arms for a few minutes before he asks the question I knew would eventually come. “Can you tell me what he said?”
“Nothing new.” I release my grip around his waist and pull back to look him in the eye. “Honestly, at this point, I don’t really care what he has to say. I don’t think there’s anything he can say to make me forgive him. Even if there’s a valid reason for him to hate Walt, you never did anything to deserve his behavior.”
“Abbey, I don’t want?—”
“No,” I interrupt, slipping out of his arms. “A child does not deserve to be treated like the perceived sins of the father are their fault. That belief is complete bullcrap.” I have to stop myself from stomping my foot like a child throwing a temper tantrum. “I’m done letting his beliefs and actions impact my life. It sucks that I have such a shitty father, but I’ve got Walt and you, and the rest of the group. I have far too many people in my corner to let him affect me anymore.”
Pity never crosses his features, but that doesn’t stop him from stepping forward and taking my hand in one of his. “Love,” he whispers, cupping my cheek in his other hand. “You set whatever boundaries you need to set, but don’t act like this doesn’t hurt—not with me. He can be the biggest asshole, but he’s still your father, and he still supported you through some of your hardest moments. It’s okay to be disappointed in him and hurt by his actions.”
My eyes fall shut as I suck in a breath of air. His words hit more than I want them to. Jude’s right—no matter what bad he’s done, there are good moments with my dad, and those are the moments I wish for over and over again. I thought, when he accepted my business proposal, that we’d have a chance to build on the relationship we had, but that’s clearly not the case.
What I need to accept is holding onto those moments—building expectations off of childhood memories—is setting myself up for disappointment. While I can feel whatever negative emotions I have right now, I can’t let myself sit in them. If I want a real chance at living a full and happy life, I have to let it go.
“I know I can feel whatever I’m feeling, but I don’t want to feed the negative emotions. I want to move on and chase those dreams.” I place my hand over his on my cheek and sink into the touch. “I want to keep moving forward with you.”
“Okay, mo ghrá,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “Where do we start?”
thirty-one
JUDE
The call continuesto ring as I tuck the phone between my ear and shoulder, stuffing my keys and wallet into my pockets.
“Jude Murphy. What have I told you about letting so much time go between phone calls? It’s bad enough I don’t get to see you very often,” Mae chides as soon as she answers the phone.
