Page 41 of Hidden Vows
“Your shoes?”
It’s my turn to look away from her. I don’t know if my words will cause her pain, but I know they’ll cause her discomfort, and I don’t want that. But I also don’t want to lie to her—not anymore.
Stonebridge Hollow felt more like Ashford Falls than any other town I ever stayed in. Maybe it’s because it realistically wasn’t far from home, and it felt easy enough to go back if I wanted to, but out of all the places I’ve lived—and there have been many—Stonebridge Hollow is the place I would pick if I were looking for a home outside of Ashford Falls—even after staying with Willie and Mae in Minnesota.
“I never told them exactly what happened to make me leave home, but they could see I was hurting, and I think they just wanted to lessen as much stress as they could.” I lift my gaze back to hers, offering a small smile. “They were good people. It was a good place to land right after everything that happened.”
She’s quiet, her eyes moving over my face as she thinks. I have no idea what’s going through her head, but the look in her eyes is still inquisitive. “How long did you stay there?”
“About three months. I moved on to a new town in Ohio, one a bit bigger than Stonebridge Hollow but still small. There, I got a job cleaning a few businesses in town. It started as just the local lawyer’s office, but he recommended me to a few other people, which helped significantly. I was only there a couple of monthsbefore I ended up in Chicago.” I shake my head, remembering how much I hated it there.
Not only was it harder to find someone willing to take a shot on a kid, but it was even harder when they saw I hadn’t stayed in my two previous jobs long.
“That’s where I got my first job in construction. I picked up a couple of skills and quickly moved on. I learned definitively in Chicago that city life wasn’t for me.” I notice she’s finished her water and grab the empty glass to refill it. “I think I was only there a month before I moved on.”
She runs her fingers over the rim of the glass, her eyes tracking her movements. “Did you ever stay anywhere long?”
“I stayed in a little town in Minnesota for about six months. I got a job at a local mechanic shop. The owner and his wife let me stay with them and quasi-adopted me,” I tell her honestly. “I never lost contact with Dad, but that first year wasn’t easy.”
“Why?” she blurts.
I fight the smile at the Abbey I used to know peeking through. “He wanted to know what happened, and I wasn’t ready to hear the disappointment in his voice.”
“Jude—”
“I know he would’ve supported and loved me no matter what,” I interrupt. “But I didn’t want him to look at me differently. Though, I think in the end, he still did.”
There was a disappointment I felt from him in our conversations that first year, but it was a disappointment I could live with. One based on wishing I trusted him enough to tell him what happened. And I guess, it was always my fear of disappointing a man who did so much for me as a father that kept me from telling him the truth.
To this day, I have no idea what my dad would’ve done if heknew all the details of what led to my and Abbey’s divorce.
I can guess, though, and it would’ve meant losing something he loved and cherished more than most things in his life.
“So, six months in Minnesota?” Abbey asks in the silence, bringing us back to the moment.
“Yeah. From there, I moved all over the country, picking up whatever job I could to support me for however long I was there. If you can think of it, I probably did it. I generally stayed in town for a season before moving on to the next, and I only stayed in smaller towns after Chicago. Though, I found myself hitting some tourist spots along the way.”
“What kind of tourist spots?”
I can’t stop the laugh from breaking through. “Any and all of them.” And even though we’re supposed to be spending this time looking at the brochures for different nursing homes and scheduling time to visit a few, we spend the next forty minutes before opening the bar talking about all the places I’d been.
nineteen
ABBEY
“Jude’s been around a lot lately.”Ava falls onto the couch beside Quinn, passing her a beer bottle.
“Wait.” Quinn spins to look at me, her eyes wide. “I know I saw you two talking at the birthday party a few weeks ago, but I didn’t realize you were spending time together. What did I miss while I was on my honeymoon?”
The last I know is more rhetorical, but it still makes us chuckle. No matter what she might have missed here, her honeymoon was exactly what she needed and wanted it to be.
“We’re notspendingtime together. He’s just…” My words trail off and I have no idea how to finish that sentence.
Technically, we have been spending time together. If we’re not working on finding a nursing home for Walt, or he’s not at the bookstore helping out with the renovation, or I’m not at the bar helping wherever he needs it, then we’re generally in my apartment hanging out.
Not that these women know about that last part…
“I don’t know what’s going on.” I look down at the baby in my arms, avoiding the look I know Ava is throwing my way. She’s seen us together at the bookstore and Murphy’s a few times now.
