Page 39 of Hidden Vows
I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to believe those words from him again.
“Yeah.” He gently removes his hand from mine, stuffing it back in his pocket as he steps back. “The doctors wanted to meet to talk about our options.”
“Has something changed?” I ask, worry coating my words.
“No. He’s been off life support for weeks now, and brain function is still completely normal. They have no idea why he’s not waking up.”
“So, what options are there?”
“Moving him to a different facility. A nursing home.”
“What?” I breathe.
“They don’t see a reason for him to stay in the hospital since there’s nothing for them to treat. In all honesty, it sounds like they should have moved him weeks ago. I think your friends, Caleb and Emily, have something to do with why they kept him there for so long.”
“They’re your friends too.”
“I don’t know if I can rightfully call anyone in this town a friend. Not after abandoning all of you.” I open my mouth to respond, but he shakes his head. “I’m not saying that for sympathy. It’s just a fact. I haven’t been a friend to anyone here, and the fact that they’re all letting me back into their lives without question is a testament to the people they are.”
It’s silent between us, and I don’t know how to respond. It doesn’t surprise me that Ashford Falls pulled Jude back into the fold as if he never left. People knew we were together, and they knew I was heartbroken when he left, but we were so young.
It felt like this big, all-consuming, adult love back then, but now? I wonder if it was everything we thought it was. Seeing the relationships around me—Quinn and Declan, Ava and Gage, Emily and Caleb—I can’t help but wonder if Jude and I would’ve had what it takes to make it work. Would we have fought to make it through the natural downs all relationships have?
Obviously not, if we couldn’t weather our first big conflict.
I shuffle my feet, discomfort at that thought coursing through me. “So you’re moving him to a nursing home?” I ask, focusing back on the safer topic of Walt.
“Yeah. I just have to pick one.”
“Let me know how I can help. I have tons of time now that demolition is done. There’s very little I can help with in the rebuildof the shop.” I force a laugh, trying to lighten the somber mood.
“I think I’ll take you up on that offer.” His smile is tight, and I know he’s forcing it too. “They gave me a list of places that aren’t too far away. Maybe we could sit down and look at a few, maybe schedule some walkthroughs before deciding?”
“Yeah. We can sit down tomorrow morning. Before you open the bar?”
“That’d be great. Ten sound good?”
I nod, giving him a tight smile.Where did the comfort between us go?“I’ll be there.”
He stares at me a moment longer before striding across the hall and entering his apartment, not looking back at me once. I should close my door and head to bed, but I’m trapped where I stand.
Maybe I can forgive him for what he did all those years ago, not for him but for me. Because I think I’d rather have him in my life than not. I think I’d rather have his friendship than not have him at all.
Forgiving him doesn’t mean he needs to become my everything again, and it doesn’t mean we go back to who we were before everything happened. It just means that we’re moving forward with our lives.
I smile as I close the door to my apartment, a weight lifting from my shoulders.
eighteen
JUDE
Five weeks,and I’m still staring at a blinking cursor on a blank screen. I can’t remember a time I’ve ever gone this long without writing a single word, not since I started publishing.
The advice every author, agent, and editor has ever said plays on repeat in my head.Forget about the end result and get the words on the page. The first draft isn’t meant to be good.
I know it, and yet I’m still struggling to start. My mind keeps returning to last night, standing at the threshold of Abbey’s apartment.
I wasn’t planning on knocking on her door last night, but when I heard the soft rumbling of voices I couldn’t stop myself. My first thought was that someone was there with her, and I couldn’t stand the thought of another man in her apartment. I had no right to care one way or another if she was with someone else, but feelings are rarely logical.
