Page 2 of Fighting for Brielle
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After he’d been summarily retired from the Navy with letters of commendation and the promise of a medal, Justice lost all interest in his recovery. He refused to eat or participate in physical therapy. No amount of pleading or arguing with him could change his mind. He wished he’d died along with his buddies. Losing his commission in the Navy was a fate worse than death. Without a wife and family, he didn’t even have a girlfriend, for Christ’s sake, Justice envisioned a long and empty future. What was the point of walking again when his brain had turned to mush, and he’d lost the only career he’d ever dreamed about?
A week later, after another fruitless argument with his pigheaded son, Franklin rushed out of Justice’s hospital room and ran into Matthew Steele and John Keegan, who happened to be visiting amputees that day at Walter Reed.
As they exchanged greetings, an idea struck him. “I know you’re busy, but if you could spend some time with my son, Justice, I would appreciate it.” Briefly, he explained what happened in Afghanistan.
Both men expressed their sympathy and nodded.
“No problem,” Steele assured him. “We’ll be glad to talk to him.”
Franklin shook their hands. “Maybe you can reach him. I certainly can’t.”
Steele and Keegan entered the dark room. The blinds were drawn, and Justice lay staring straight ahead at nothing in particular.
When the men moved in front of his line of vision, he muttered, “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. I don’t need a pep talk by a pair of old legends like you two.”
The friends grinned at each other.
“Did you hear that?” Steele asked. “We’re legends.”
“No, man.” Keegan punched him playfully on the arm. “We’re just fuckingold.”
Justice rolled his eyes. “Great. A couple of damn comedians.”
Steele moved toward the bed and held out his hand. “I’m Matt Steele. This is John Keegan. Our friends call us Wolf and Tex.”
Politeness and ingrained respect for fellow SEALs prompted Justice to shake their hands.
“Look, I don’t want to seem rude or ungrateful, but there isn’t anything you can possibly say to me that will make me feel better about my situation. I lost my team and my career in one fell swoop. The Navy was my life, don’t you get it? My life! I’ve got nothing to live for now.”
Tex inclined his head toward the door. “Let me speak to him alone.”
He pulled up a chair and told Justice his story. It was one Justice had heard a dozen times, but something in the tenor of Tex’s tone kept him focused and listening. Tex spoke for over an hour, discussing what happened to him, his recovery, and how he found meaning and purpose in his life. When he talked about his love for Wolf and the rest of their special team, and especially about his all-consuming passion for his wife and children, his eyes gleamed with a fierce, protective light.
“Believe me, Justice, I understand what you’re going through. You feel guilty because you’re alive. But that’s the point. You’realive. And once a SEAL, always a SEAL. No one can take that away from you. Youwillwalk again. And as far as your brain injury is concerned, you’ll recover from that, too. You may not be able to think as quickly as you used to, and you may not feel like yourself for a long while, but you’ll find a way to cope. Because you’re a SEAL. And we don’t quit. Or give up.”
By the time he finished speaking, tears were running down Justice’s face. Once the dam broke, he couldn’t stop, and through his sobs he told Tex his story, including details he couldn’t share with his father. His sobs turned to dry wracks as the last conversation he and his team had before their Humvee exploded poured out of him.
“We were laughing, you know? Just shooting the breeze, not thinking we wouldn’t make it back to base. Bear, I mean, Joe, had just decided to propose to his girlfriend. We were giving him shit about it, about waiting too long… And then…” Justice closed his eyes and shook his head. “And then…the last sound…the final sound I heard…screams.Their screams.” He rubbed his forehead, and let the tears flow unheeded down his cheeks.
Several moments later, Justice opened his eyes. “Is that even possible, Tex? That I heard my men screaming? I don’t remember anything about what happened.”
He could see the doubt on Tex’s face. “Man, I don’t know. But you need to move on, Justice. It’s what your team would want you to do.”
“Yeah, I know. It’s hard. Surviving. I don’t know who I am without the Navy.”
They spoke about that for a few minutes, with Tex offering comfort and support, until Justice ran out of tears and things to say.
As Tex rose to leave, he said, “If you need a job, you can join any number of security companies I could recommend. They’d be happy to have a retired SEAL on their team.” He wrote his cell phone number on a napkin. “Keep in touch, McQuaid. I want to hear from you.”
“I will. Thanks, man. For taking the time to talk to me, and most of all, for listening.”
They shook hands, and Tex patted his shoulder. “No thanks are necessary. Ever. Take care, Lieutenant Commander.”
Justice dragged his hands down his face and took deep breaths. He hadn’t realized how much he’d needed to bare his soul with someone who understood what he had gone through, surviving an attack on his team and facing life-changing injuries. Sharing that with Tex was somehow easier than speaking to his father about it.
Moments after Tex left, Franklin entered Justice’s hospital room. Their eyes met. Mutual love flowed between them. Justice finally understood what his father wanted from him.
