Page 1 of Loving a Libra
“Wasn’t that beautiful?”I asked Maurice as we walked to his truck.
We’d just attended the wedding of one of my coworkers. Weddings always made me feel warm and fuzzy inside because I loved love and was looking forward to my wedding day.
He shrugged nonchalantly. “It was cool, I guess.”
“Doesn’t it make you want to get married?”
We’d made it to his truck, and he didn’t respond until we were both seated inside.
“I don’t feel any different about marriage than I did before the wedding.”
Maurice and I had been together for five years, and if someone asked me to rate our relationship over that span oftime, on a scale of one to ten, I’d give it a six or seven. We both had our flaws, but nothing he did bothered me enough to walk away . . . Well, until recently.
I couldn’t pretend as if there weren’t signs that I should’ve paid more attention to, but Maurice had so much potential. He was handsome, educated, intelligent, and successful. It was hard to find men like him who wanted to be in a committed relationship.
He’d never been overly attentive. However, when the mood struck, he showered me with attention and gifts for weeks at a time. I could admit that we were more compatible in our first few years of dating. As I’d grown older and more mature, my interests have shifted. During the warmer months, I loved a good day party, but after working thirty-six hours in three days, I often preferred to relax at home for at least two of my four days off.
When Maurice was available, I’d spend at least one day with him, but in the last year or so, he seemed to prefer to do things without me. He owned a lounge with his best friend, Tariq, so I understood that the nature of his job required him to keep late hours. However, they had three managers and four assistant managers to help carry the load. I didn’t think he needed to be there as much as he was, but who was I to tell him how to run his business?
My best friend, Ginae, was always down to hang out, until she took a job as a traveling nurse. Now she’d be gone for weeks at a time. I loved that for her, so I didn’t often press her about hanging out when she was home. Besides, Tariq lived across the hall from us and was down to chill more often than not.
Discussing marriage became a sore spot in our relationship in our third year. At the time, we didn’t live together, so he asked me to move in with him. I enjoyed having my own space,but I decided that living with him would help me determine if marrying him was what I truly wanted.
When my lease was up, he moved me into the condo he’d just bought and gave me the freedom to decorate the entire space to my liking. He didn’t ask me to pay a single bill, so the money I earned as a nurse went straight into my bank account, on top of the money he sent me every week. Based on his actions, I felt we were moving in the right direction.
However, after two years of living together, I thought he would’ve proposed by now. None of the conversations we’d had about marriage ended well, and I realized our living arrangements were his way of pacifying me. He was no more interested in getting married now than he was two years ago.
“It’s been a while since we’ve talked about marriage, so I need you to refresh my memory on your feelings about it. Do you want to get married?”
“Man, we’ve talked about this too many times for you to be playing dumb. You know I want to get married.”
“Oh, so you don’t want to marry me . . . Is that it?”
“Aww, shit. Here we go. I knew you’d be on this shit again after this wedding. I should’ve gone to the lounge like I wanted.”
“Yeah, you should’ve. I’m ready to get married and start a family. I don’t have five more years to wait for you.”
“We don’t have to be married to have kids. I?—”
“No,youdon’t have to be married to have kids. As for me, . . . you won’t get a child from me until I’m your wife. It’s as simple as that.”
“Then you must be cool with waiting a few more years, because marriage ain’t even on my radar right now.”
“Doesn’t seem like it ever will be. I’m a good woman, Maurice. One day you’ll look up, and I’ll be gone.”
He shook his head and chuckled. “You say that all the time, but that ain’t gon’ force me to do something I don’t wanna do.”
“Oh, so now you don’t want to get married.”
“That ain’t what I said.”
“That’s exactly what you said, nigga. You think?—”
“I don’t think shit. I know I ain’t ready to be nobody’s husband, and you can talk all the shit you want. It won’t happen until I’m ready.”
We stopped at a light, and I felt him looking at me. When our eyes met, my annoyance with him intensified. I hated that he was handsome and charming. All he usually had to do was flash his beautiful smile or say something sweet, and I’d forget all about what we argued about seconds before. However, that shit didn’t have the same effect it had in the past.
“Hopefully, I’ll be around.”
