Page 31 of Playing Hard to Hate
PRESENT
I had crossed the line. Every single fucking line that existed, I diminished in a stupid second, and fuck, I didn’t regret it. I got her first kiss. I got to be the first one to taste Tatum Grace, and now I wanted to be the only one to ever hear those little moans.
I stepped back and watched her slowly open her green eyes. She was completely dazed. She scanned my face, eyes lingering on my lips, and then she was pushing me away, her hands on my chest.
“We shouldn’t have done that.Youshouldn’t have done that. You. You. You.” She jabbed a finger in my chest but never finished her thought.
“I’m sorry?” I raised my hands up in defense. Fuck, she had looked so perfect coming out of the bathroom, all fresh-faced and in this cute pajama set. “Why didn’t you stop me?”
“I…I…I don’t know, Griffin. Maybe because I’m drunk, or maybe because I’ve dreamed of this moment my entire life. But to you, I’m just another notch on that never-ending belt!” she screamed and then instantly slapped a hand to her mouth. Her eyes grew large.
“Tate.”
“Get out of my room. Just get out.”
“You aren’t another notch.”
“Get out, Griffin!”
“Listen to me, Tate. You aren’t another notch. You’re the girl from next door. You know all my secrets. You aren’t like the other girls. I’ve always wanted to kiss you too.” I grabbed her arms and held on, despite her pulling away from me.
“Griff, please,” she cried, dropping her head to my chest and begging me to do something I wasn’t sure of.
“I’m not sorry for kissing you.”
“It can’t happen again,” she whispered.
“If you insist.”
“Go to bed. I need sleep,” she said tiredly and pulled away from me. This time, I didn’t hold on to her when she walked over to her bed and started to climb in, flicking off the lamp beside the bed.
“I’ll just shower and then head to bed.”
“Night, Fin.”
“Tate?”
“Yeah?”
“I never hated you.”
“I never hated you either.”
I slippedout the next morning before she woke up, giving her the space she needed, and I had practice early that morning. I needed to swing by my place and change, and if I had time, I needed to go for a run. I had to get her out of my fucking head.
She had plagued my dreams all night. Her words. Her softmoans. I dreamed of a world where we were more than frenemies. Not that she would ever agree to that, not after the way she reacted last night. I might have been her first kiss dream, but I don’t think I was her boyfriend dream.
I’d never dated someone long-term. And Tate would either be forever or not at all. I wasn’t ready to cross that line.
If we dated and things didn’t work, I’d lose her forever. Right now, I at least still had a small piece of her in my life. A very fucking small piece, but it eased the guilt and regret that consumed me for how I handled things as kids. I never should have pushed her away.
She was my best friend, and I pushed her to the curb and then knocked her down every time she tried to get up. I wished more than anything I could go back and be the guy she needed, especially when her mother died. I wasn’t there when she needed me the most.
“Head is in the clouds today, Silver,” Hunter commented during drills after I fumbled a ball.
“Not sure what you’re talking about,” I mumbled, picking up the ball.
“We saw you leave the bar with Tatum last night,” Graham said, taking off his hat and swiping at the sweat on his forehead.
