Page 65 of The Gingerbread Bakery
Annie sat back in her seat pleased with herself. ‘Well, there you go, Holly and Claus. At least your pets have good names now.’ He wasn’t sure which one she’d named which.
‘See,’ he said, ‘I’m not all bad.’ He meant to say it teasingly, not really wanting to get into it with her again, but the words hung heavy between them.
‘I know you’re not. I'm sorry I do that. I’m sorry I still assume the worst about you. It’s an old habit,’ she said quietly, petting Holly or Claus's little head.
‘Maybe we need a fresh start,’ he said.
‘How do we do that now? I've known you since I was five years old, Mac, and the one time I opened myself up to you, I got crushed in the process, so I’m not really sure how we start over. Or if we can.’
Mac swallowed hard. That was more than Annie had said about what happened between them the whole time since he’d been back. Just this morning she told him she wasn’t hurt, that she didn’t need his apologies. It had been the same for years.
Crushed.She said she'd been crushed by what he did. It was so much worse than her pretending she was fine. To hear her admit how he’d made her feel, to have it out in the open, what was he supposed to do now? Who was he to ask for a second chance?
This day had completely fucked with his head, and he didn’t know anymore if he was asking for a second chance or for hate-sex to end this once and for all.
‘Do they still do the light tour?’ he asked instead.
‘Yeah, of course. It’s one of the biggest fundraisers of the year,’ Annie said, sounding relieved at the change of topic. ‘I haven't had a chance to go this year though.’
‘Why not?’
‘Been too busy.’
Too busy doing things for other people. He knew that was the case. He took a left into one of the neighborhoods before his.
‘Where are we going?’ Annie asked, looking up from the kittens in her lap.
Mac shrugged. ‘I thought we could take the scenic route instead, you know, so you can see some of the lights you missed.’ He hated that she’d missed one of her favorite traditions.
A pleased smile crossed her face in the darkness, and he thought, between this mini light tour and the kittens in her lap, maybe he was making some progress. While he had her trapped here with him in the car, he was damn well going to take the opportunity to show her how much he still cared about her. For all he knew, after this weekend she could go right back to avoiding him like the plague.
God, he hoped that wasn’t what happened.
‘Oh, that’s new!’ Annie said, pointing to a particularly garish light-up snowman display.
‘It’s certainly bright. You can probably see it from space.’
She laughed and he wanted to bottle the sound.
‘Oh, look at that one.’ She pointed across his body to a house on the left and it reminded him of when they were kids on that tour, the way she’d leaned into him, the way he hadn’t wanted it to end.
She didn’t move all the way back to her side of the car and instead stayed close to him, her shoulder nearly pressing against his. She smelled like frosting and ginger and Mac barely contained his groan. Hewantedher.
Whatever she was willing to give.
He wanted it.
The snow was still falling in thick white flakes and Nat King Cole crooned a Christmas classic on the radio. The truck was warm, the windshield fogging over in between swipes of the wipers. They drove slowly around the block, admiring the light displays as they went. It had been years since Mac did anything like this. He slid his gaze to Annie’s face, watching her delight in her neighbors’ efforts.
She was so fucking beautiful.
‘How about that one?’ He pointed to a house with white icicle lights on the porch and a candle lit in each window.
‘Understated. I like it.’
Mac smiled in the darkness.
‘How about that one?’ Annie pointed.
