Page 114 of The Strawberry Patch Pancake House
‘Oh.’
‘Iris, it’s always going to be hard, and scary and you are going to mess up. All the time.’
‘Wow, Iz, very comforting,’ Bex said with a laugh.
‘It’s true! You will make a lot of mistakes and you will always be questioning if you’re doing it right. That’s just part of the job.’
‘Mistakes like losing the damn kid?’ Iris asked, the panic of that day still thrumming through her veins when she thought about it.
‘Yes, exactly like that. I never told you about the time Jane wandered off in Target and they had to call her name over the PA system and I felt like the worst mom in the entire world?’
‘No, you never mentioned it.’
‘Well, there you go. Every parent has plenty of stories of the mistakes they’ve made but all you can do is your best to love them, Iris. That’s it. So whether we’re talking about Olive or this pregnancy, if you decide to keep it, it’s the same thing.’
‘Yeah, Iris,’ Kira agreed. ‘You’ve been all, oh, Archer’s so great for showing up and just trying to be there for his daughter, and thatisgreat, but it’s great when you do that, too! Why does he get a gold star just for showing up and you don’t? You were there for that little girl when she needed you, and just because you made one mistake doesn’t undo all of that.’ Kira was fired up now and Iris couldn’t help but smile through her tears.
‘Thanks, guys.’
She still didn’t know what she was going to do but she felt so loved surrounded by her best friends that she knew whatever she decided, she’d be okay, and they’d have her back, no matter what.
‘And what about Archer?’ Kira asked, moving down the list of issues.
‘I don’t know,’ Iris admitted, and it was true. She didn’t know what to do about Archer. She missed him so much it physically hurt, and sometimes she daydreamed about going back, about telling him about this baby, about scooping Olive up in her arms. And sometimes she wanted that so badly it took her breath away. But what if Archer didn’t want that? What if one surprise kid was enough for him? What if he couldn’t forgive her for leaving, for breaking Olive’s heart? That was the one thing she couldn’t seem to forgive herself for, letting Olive down. She’d just left without even saying goodbye to a kid who had already lost her mother. Who did that?
If she was Archer, she wouldn’t forgive her for it.
‘Well, do you want to be with him?’ Bex asked.
‘It’s not that simple.’
‘Why not?’
‘Maybe he doesn’t want to be with me,’ Iris said. ‘Maybe he doesn’t want me messing with Olive’s emotions any more.’
‘I’m sure Olive is fine,’ Isabel said. ‘I saw her the other day, getting a lemonade at The Pumpkin Spice Café, and telling everyone who would listen that her dad bought her a bunny.’
A laugh burst from Iris so unexpectedly she clapped a hand over her mouth. ‘He bought her a bunny?’
Isabel laughed, too. ‘Apparently, yeah.’
The pain of missing them was sharp; a blade to her heart. She should have been there. She should have helped pick the bunny out. They probably named it something absurd. She should have been there to name it.
Iris shook her head, trying to force the longing from her lungs. ‘I miss them,’ she admitted.
Kira ran a hand down her arm, giving her hand a squeeze. ‘Then maybe you should give him a call.’
‘I can’t.’
‘Iris.’
‘I just … I need to figure out this pregnancy thing first. I need to figure out what I’m going to say.’ She should, right? She should know how much she was asking of Archer before she asked anything at all.
‘Okay, that’s fair,’ Kira said, giving her hand another squeeze. ‘But don’t wait too long. Don’t torture yourself for one mistake.’
‘Okay, I won’t.’
‘Now, let’s get you up and showered!’ Bex said, patting her on the back.
