Page 95 of Any Second Now
He left a few hours ago to workout.
This thing is our little secret, kind of, since multiple people know about it.
But none of them are in Fort Collins.
Lachlan is so wrapped up in his girlfriend and Barrett is so wrapped up in, well, himself, that Atticus has managed to keep it quiet from them.
And the others are too far away to be able to truly interfere. Not that Lucy and January aren’t trying.
I glance down at the jersey I’m wearing. Not only did he leave it here after that first night, but he wants me to wear it. He wants to lay claim to me… I get the feeling he hasn’t done that with women often. Ever? I suck in a breath at the thought that what we have is special, not only to me, but to him as well.
The thing weighing heavy on me every day is Jacob.
He’s texting me way too much. I told him he can’t call me, and I muted our text chain. But it’s always there with new messages. I flip over my phone and tap through to check out his latest from this morning.
Jacob
Good morning, beautiful
My favorite days with you were lazy Sunday mornings when we snuggled on the couch with our coffees
I scoff and shake my head. I literally have no recollection of that ever happening. Maybe we sat at the kitchen table and scrolled our phones? But I don’t think we were snuggling on the couch. I think he’s completely re-writing our marriage in his brain so he can hyper focus on something during his therapy.
I should tell him to back off once and for all. Block him. It’s been a month since my last payment to him. When will he ask again? Maybe he won’t. Once he’s financially stable, then I’ll cut him off emotionally as well.
I let those beautiful roses remain in The Pink Palace for twenty-four hours before I walked them over to Elizabeth. She accepted them with raised eyebrows when I told her that the smellin the small space was making me nauseous. It wasn’t a lie. Every time I looked at them, I felt sick.
Does Jacob really still love me? He’s been drowning in the ocean of his gambling addiction and compulsive lying, and he needs some way to survive the raging sea.
I think I’m a life boat for him. I’m calm waters.
But he’s not the way for me. I don’t even like the water.
I consider what to type back, but I can’t think of anything appropriate. I don’t want to argue with him. I don’t want to casually respond as if his texts are welcome.
While I think, Atticus buzzes in.
Atticus
up for a kayak?
I let out a short laugh as his message breaks the building tension inside me. This man cracks me up every time we’re together.
Me
I almost died kayaking and you want me to go again? Like, again again?
Atticus
that is categorically false
Me
You flipped me
Atticus
also false. you flipped me, and that was the first time we went. last time, we both stayed completely dry and it was a delightful afternoon on the water
