Page 67 of Any Second Now
Did I say quit? I meant taking asabbaticalto do cross-stitch.
One day, I’d like to consider having kids… but it would have to be the right situation. And I’m about as far from that as one could possibly be.
I shake my head as Atticus tugs my hand to cross the street. Music drifts toward us from the next block and there are groups of people walking around the well-lit street. One group is comprised of laughing twenty-something women, wearing way less clothing than I am. Another is an older couple. Then a pair of young men.
I wonder what they think of me and Atticus.
It doesn’t matter, not just because they’re strangers, but because whatever this is between us has nowhere to go.
It’s not like I’mnotgoing back to Connecticut or my job eventually, right? But maybe… A shiver runs down my spine. I need to shelve that thought for now. Shove it onto a deep, dark, hidden bookshelf in the library next to the encyclopedias.
“You okay, coach?” Atticus squeezes my hand and I turn to him.
“Of course. But where are we going?”
“There’s a band in the square. I thought we could watch for a while.” He glances at me, and the look is so raw and needy.
“Sounds fun.” We walk on in silence.
And what about Atticus?
I need to be careful.
Not just because he’s my best friend’s little brother.
But because there’s something about him that is vulnerable. I can’t believe I’m even thinking that about the hulking, tough, six-foot-four hockey player holding my hand.
It’s true, though.
Between Lucy telling me he’s not been hooking up with women recently, his injury, his kind and cautious way with me, and how he initially reacted toward Barrett Steele. Plus, his father’s fourth divorce.
He’s going through some shit.
And no one is really around for him right now.
Except me.
I need someone, too. And my friends are all otherwise occupied.
Except Atticus.
This is definitely more dangerous that chasing a casual college crush.
He asked me to be his dating coach so he could go out with a bookstore girl he likes, and here we are walking through Fort Collins hand-in-hand.
But I’m not ready to call bullshit on the dating coach thing yet.
As we round the corner toward the square, the music gets louder and the crowd gets thicker. Atticus moves me behind his back and pulls me through the crowd until we’re standing against a retail store window with a side view of the band. It’s indie folk rock with acoustic guitars and an earthy feel to the raspy voice of the lead singer, who is singing about the one who got away.
I don’t think Raleigh from a year ago would recognize this person. Raleigh who hadn’t yet discovered there was a reason her husband had been pulling away from her. That there was an insurmountable canyon between us that wouldn’t be fixable, no matter what he thinks now.
I always thought of myself as boring and predictable. Is this who I am now? Am I someone completely different yet?
I’m not sure.
I shut my eyes and appreciate the cool glass through my shirt.
“Isn’t your place not far from here?” The words come out of my mouth before I even know they’re there. I open my eyes and Atticus turns to me sharply.
