Page 107 of Any Second Now
“It sounds like what you usually tell women, but swap in hockey instead.” I say it more to myself then to my friend, but he jerks his head up to look at me.
“That’s fucked up, mate.”
“I know, I’m sorry. But isn’t it true?”
He groans. “Yeah.”
“And I didn’t mean to offend. I was more thinking about me.”Oops. Hadn’t meant to say that out loud.
“You? Raleigh?” He perks up.
“Uh—” Oh, shit. But I forget why I’m even hiding this from one of my closest friends.
“Oh come on, mate.” Lachlan lifts his eyebrows. “It’s obvious you’re fucking her. I might be distracted with Melissa—” his voice hitches. “—but I’m not an idiot.”
I run a hand roughly over my face. Might as well talk through this. For his sake, at least. It might help distract him from the breakup.
“Yeah, things have happened with Raleigh.”
“Things?” Lachlan cracks a smile for the first time all night. I glance over at Barrett, who looks like he has no intention of moving from the spot next to the blonde woman. He even got himself a drink, but I don’t see shots or beers for the rest of us.
“We’ve spent a lot of time together.” That’s an understatement. Every day. Almost every night. “We’re not official. And she’s leaving in a few weeks.”
“How much time together?” Lachlan narrows his eyes, studying me.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” It’s one thing telling him that Raleigh and I have been hooking up, it’s a different story to talk about how things are getting more out of control.
“Love is worth it, mate, even if you get your heart broken into a million pieces.” Lachlan’s voice squeaks at the end like a pubescent boy, and his eyes fill with tears.
Fuck.
I do not want to end up like Lachlan. He’s a fucking mess. Apatheticmess.
“It’s not love.”
But as I say that, my gut clenches and a lump forms in my throat.
It better not be love.
I’m not equipped for love.
I don’twantto be equipped for love.
I scoff and cast an annoyed glance at Barrett. I could use a fresh beer right about now. And that shot.
If by some stupid chance this is love, I need to squash it. Suffocate it. Hide it. Beat it down until it goes away, because there is no future for me and Raleigh.
Fuck. Maybe it is love.
An hour later, the three of us are stumbling down the street, weaving around the Saturday night crowds. Barrett is trailing behind us, one arm slung over the blonde girl’s shoulder, the other arm wrapped around her tall brunette friend’s waist. At first, I think the tall girl was interested in Lachlan or me, but we’ve both steered clear.
Lachlan pulls out his phone.
“No way.” I grab it out of his hands, his reflexes even slower than mine at the moment. “No texting her.”
Lachlan groans and stops in front of Horsetooth Brewing.
“Remember when we were here, and Melissa was out of town?” Lachlan nods to the busy restaurant, tables filled with people, crowds standing around the bar. He’s got a dreamy look in his eyes that turns miserable. “Was she even out of town for the reason she said? Or maybe shewasat her sister’s, but planning on how to break it off with me.”
