Page 105 of Any Second Now
“Yes?” he asks, but I don’t respond, focusing on the sensations gripping my body, a building of pleasure that brings us higher and higher. We come together a minute later and then he collapses next to me.
“That was perfect,” I murmur. I didn’t mean to say it out loud.
“What were you going to say?” he asks, turning his head to me.
“Hmm?”
“Before you came. You said my name.”
“I don’t remember.” I shake my head and nestle into his side. “But we forgot about our wine.”
He shrugs and closes his eyes. When he dozes off, I stare up at his sharp jawline, the air moving in and out of his nose, and the way his eyelids move like he’s dreaming of something.
What was I going to say? I’m not sure, but I’m glad I didn’t get a chance to find out. I don’t understand the feelings that are rushing through me. It’s too intense. Too much.
I could live here in his bed forever. With Atticus. In his arms.
But the timing is all wrong.
There were no rules for what we’ve been doing this summer, but any second now, he will also realize how wrong we are for each other. How different our lives are.
I’ve already figured that out.
I have too much baggage. Too many things I still need to sort out about my past. About myself.
Can Atticus be patient? Would he wait?
No way.
This pro hockey player—and a self-proclaimed player with women—is not going to wait around for some nobody to deal with her issues.
Too many thoughts rush through my head.
Like how I told Jacobmaybe I’m not coming back.Those were just words meant to freak him out though, right? I might be trying to test out a different version of myself, but let’s be honest, people don’t really change.
And how I have only two weeks left on my sabbatical.
How I ignored yesterday’s voicemail from my manager checking in.
I’m just some entertainment for Atticus during the offseason. He’s testing out having a girlfriend-shaped person in his life.
Not a real one.
Maybe I’ll leave and he’ll ask out Rose from the bookstore.
This thing is destined to end, and it’d be best if I started acting like I understand that fact.
CHAPTER 22
Fucking Disaster
ATTICUS
Saturday, July 26
“Can I bring you home?” I’m in my kitchen pouring coffee into a to-go cup for Raleigh. I desperately want to come back to the RV with her, but she’s having none of it.
“No.” Raleigh shakes her head definitively. “I have a busy day and I can’t handle your, uh, distractions.” She gives me a small smile. I wish she’d step around the island and wrap her arms around me, but she stays put behind the granite barrier.
