Page 7 of Any Second Now
The spreadsheet.
“And you?” I look at Jacob with a slight shake of my head. “I told you to leave me alone. Just this morning, as a matter of fact.”
“I know. I’m sorry.” There’s that sad, kicked puppy dog look again.
“Have you even gone home today? Or just sat in front of my door during my entire shift?”
I’ve begged this man to leave me alone. I know a lot of this is my fault. I’m helping him hold on to the idea of us because I feel guilty for leaving him. I’m letting him be dependent on me.
“Raleigh.” Jacob’s handsome face is so hopeful. “I went home and thought about what you said. And I wanted to come back here—my actual home—to tell you?—”
I groan. “Not your home.”
Undeterred, Jacob continues. “—that I want to give you the space you asked for. To think. To hopefully… forgive me?”
“Sure, forgive him,” Mom says sharply. “But don’t you even consider taking him back.”
“Clara!” Jacob gives my mother a pleading glare. She always liked Jacob, and it was hard on her, too, when we got divorced.
“She needs to focus on her career. Not a man.”
“She doesn’t need to focus on her career, her career is just fine.” Jacob looks at me with wide eyes and desperation etched in the lines in his forehead. “Stop micromanaging. She needs to sort out her trauma from our marriage so she can give us another chance.”
Does he hear himself? Someone help me.
“Jacob, Mom, please stop,” I say, but no one pays attention to me.
“All that marriage trauma. That’s your fault, you know,” Mom snaps at him. “She’s not giving you another chance. You should focus on your career as well. Or getting a job, as I’m assuming you still don’t have one.”
“Hello!” I shout. They both turn my way and seem surprised to see me standing there. “I’m not focusing on my career. I’m not sorting through marriage trauma. I’m definitely not datinganyone.”
Jacob opens his mouth to speak and I shake my head.
“Actually, I’m going on a road trip. My sabbatical got approved.” I cross my arms and freaking dare them to argue.
Jacob lets out a whimper and Mom gasps. Ah, now I’ve finally got their attention.
“Oh, okay, honey.” Mom pauses, and I’m pretty sure I know what’s going through her head. She’s got a ticker tape of reasons why a road trip sabbatical is a terrible idea for my carefully planned life, the life that just implodedagainwith my second divorce. “Where are you going to go?”
Whatever. I think my multiple divorces have officially destroyed the life spreadsheet we created back in high school.
“I have some free time.” Jacob has a tentative look on his face. “I can come with you?—”
“No.” I spit the word out. Does no one listen to me? When did I ask for either of their opinions? When did I ask for anything but space from these two humans? “I am driving cross country by myself. Alone. Just me.” I throw up my hands for emphasis.
“Is that safe?” Mom cocks her head. “Driving so far by yourself?”
“You don’t even like driving two hours to the beach.” Jacob furrows his brow. “I always drive us.”
“Droveus. And I’m doing it in an RV.” I tilt my chin up.
“What?” A look of surprise and hurt crosses Jacob’s face.
I have a flicker of regret, as I knew this would be how he reacted. Maybe I wanted him to truly hear me for once.
“You rented an RV?” Mom’s face is scrunched up like she’s mentally creating new potential outcomes with this information.
“Iboughtone. And I’m picking it up this weekend.” I got an immediate response from the couple when I texted them from the car.
