Page 19 of Any Second Now
And then she shows up in Fort Collins on my thirtieth birthday. On a shitty day when my father announces his fourth divorce and I find out the Blizzard acquired Barrett fucking Steele.
Feels like some kind of sign. An explicit sign beating me over the head that says someone’s already here to replace me if I slip up.
One day, I could be like Armas and get a career-ending injury instead of one that heals with a few weeks off. Who knows what tomorrow will bring.
I shake my head and jump into my Wrangler and toss my workout bag—which I have to intentionally remember to take to the gym in the summer since during the season I can stroll in without a single thing and the team’s staff takes care of everything—into the passenger seat.
Do I overflow from the seat? Yes, yes I do. Would a bigger car have made more sense for a six-foot-four hockey player? Probably. I adjust the hockey rubber duck on my dashboard so it’s nestled in with the other ones.
I navigate the streets of Fort Collins back to my apartment downtown. Until a few months ago, my sister Lucy was living with me, which was weird at first but really fun in the end. We hung out and got to know each other again after a decade of living in different places. That was when she got together with Kellen. Now she’s in FoCo permanently, in her own apartment with her funny little dog, Waffles.
I would say it’s been quiet without her, but my kitchen is getting renovated and it’s a hot mess of noise and dust and chaos most days. At least they are almost done and take weekends off, but I’m still not a fan of spending a ton of time there. I park my car and sit in the silence for a moment.
Raleigh Hayes, single and in my town.
I thought New Year’s Eve was my only chance. I’d never get it again.
I should’ve gotten in contact with her after.
Emailed, texted, called, messaged through social media, sent an owl or a note via horseback, anything. But instead, I didn’t do a thing.
I walk down the road for a coffee at Deep Roots Cafeinstead of into my dusty apartment. Fort Collins is fantastic in the summertime. It’s hot, but a dry heat so the ninety degrees doesn’t feel as awful as where I grew up outside D.C. The sun shines three hundred days a year here.
The center of the town is lined with trees and restaurants, shops, and other retail businesses. I push my way into the coffee shop, which is cozy and crowded with people out for a leisurely Sunday morning coffee.
A pair of women whisper together as they wait for their drinks.
A toddler throws what appears to be cheerios at their older sibling at a table, the parents staring at their phones instead of intervening.
In front of me, a quiet couple holds hands.
And then there’s me.
Who would I ever bring here? I imagine inviting Lachlan to get a coffee with me on a Sunday morning like this and shake my head. He’d do it, but probably talk about his girlfriend the whole time. I love him like a brother, along with my other teammates. They’re my family. We even have a book club, and now that I think about it, I get to pick the October book. I haven’t decided if I’m gonna go horror or thriller. Lachlan always chooses romance, the sap.
The barista hands me my latte and thoughts of book club give me another idea for an RV-warming gift for Raleigh, so I head to the connected bookstore, A Good Book.
Raleigh talked about how she wants to reinvent herself. There’s gotta be books about that. I stand in the doorway and shift my baseball hat on my curls.
“Can I help you find something?”
I turn at the sound of a woman’s voice. She’s probably around my age, standing right inside The Good Book with a nametape pinned to her shirt. Rose, it says. Dark hair in a cute messy bun, glasses, dark eyes. Pretty.
“Oh, no, I’m just browsing.”
“You more look like you’re just standing there.” She tilts her head.
I chuckle. “You’re right. I do need some help.”
“Great.” Rose waits patiently for me to say more, reaching up to adjust her glasses.
“I’m looking for a few books for a friend. She’s, uh, reinventing herself.”
“So you want self-help?”
“Mmm, do I?”
“Or maybe memoir. I have tons that feature women reinventing themselves. After divorce?”
