Page 116 of Any Second Now
Fuck, I want her to stay here. But I can’t think of a logical argument for her to do so. For my immature ass? I’ll never fit in her spreadsheet.
“Man, I’m sorry.” Harley shakes his head and looks genuinely sorrowful. “I know you’ve had a thing for her.”
“Why would you say that?” I blink at him.
“I mean, the flirting, the video calls, New Year’s Eve? We’re not stupid.” Harley shrugs. “You’ve not been your normal self since then.”
“Agreed.” Lachlan nods.
“Fuck yeah!” Barrett jumps in, completely bereft of all emotional intelligence. “We really are all single then. Let’s get drunk and?—”
“Fuck off, Barrett,” I interrupt, not sounding as harsh as I mean to.
“You guys are depressing as shit,” he sighs.
“Who’s depressing as shit?” A familiar voice rings out from behind me.
Kellen appears behind my chair.
“Hey, you’re back,” I say. Kellen slaps me on the shoulder before reaching behind him to grab an empty chair from the next table, pulling it over and sitting in one swift move. Relief cascades through me. It’s like the team dad just returned. Maybe he can get his brokenhearted children under control.
Kellen looks around the table and grins at Barrett.
“Welcome to Fort Collins, Steele. How’re you settling in?”
“Good, but these assholes are all crying in their chocolate milk about women. Miserable about being single, when they should bebasking in it.” Barrett stands. “I’m getting another pitcher of beer, and before any of you whine about it being two o’clock in the afternoon, I don’t give a fuck.”
“That guy’s a character.” Kellen snorts as Barrett walks away. “Hey, sorry about Emily,” Kellen says to Harley.
Harley nods and stares sightlessly into his pint glass, apparently not willing to snap back at our team captain like he snapped at the new guy.
“Uh, just so you know, we’re not talking about that.” Lachlan leans over to Kellen and fake-whispers. Harley glares at him. “And we’re definitely not saying her name.”
“Ah, okay. And sorry about Melissa,” Kellen says, this time to Lachlan.
“Thank you.” Lachlan pales.
“But you and Raleigh, huh?” Kellen turns to me with a wicked grin.
“Over.” I shake my head.
“Oh, shit.” Kellen sits up a little straighter. “What the hell happened?”
“She’s going back home.” I shrug. It’s the simplest answer. And I don’t have the strength to bring up her ex-husband again.
“Lucy’s with Raleigh right now.” Kellen runs a hand through his dark hair and watches me thoughtfully.
I don’t know how to feel about my sister talking to Raleigh about this. Not that there’s any way to stop it. But they’re gonna talk abouteverything, and it’s been such a private summer without friends and teammates around to witness and judge and jump in on my relationship with Raleigh.
I’m not sure I can go back to normal. I don’t even know what normal is anymore. Bringing girls back to the hotel room when we travel? Sounds heartless and empty. Not after I know what it’s like to sleep with someone I have real feelings for. Someone I lo?—
Woah.
Wait.
No.
Black spots edge around the corner of my vision and heat washes over me.
