Page 67 of Just One Season
Maybe it’s because when he looks at me, I sense something between us.
Something decidedly not fake.
I swallow and goosebumps tingle on my arms.
I’m probably imagining it. Or in the very least, it’s just one-sided. He can’t feel the same for me. And even if he told me he did, how could I believe him? I’m clearly a terrible judge of character. I thought Ron loved me. I thought he wanted to be with me forever. Instead, he’d been looking elsewhere all along.
But right now, I want to live in the moment and enjoy spending time with Kellen. Is that such a bad idea?
“Be natural. I’ll snap a few.” My voice is shaky, and I chastise myself for being such a sucker for this man.
Kellen leans forward, elbows on his knees, and stares at me as I lift my phone. Good lord. I don’t think it’d be an exaggeration to say he’s freaking gorgeous. I steady my hand and snap a few pictures. They come out crooked, so I try again.
I’m a thirty-three-year-old woman. Why do I feel so fluttery around this man?
I’m not interested in a relationship. Not even a casual one.
I’m not interested in the way I always feel like I’m not good enough.
But somehow, when I’m with Kellen, I don’t feel like that. Maybe that feeling is coming. Waiting in the rafters. Maybe he’s a really good actor, even better than Ron, but Kellen doesn’t treat me like I’m not good enough to be with him. Even if it’s fake. When we’re together, he treats me like we’re really dating. An actual couple.
“Can you smile?” I lower my phone. “Like you’re happy to be here?”
“I am happy to be here.” Kellen sits back, hands on his thighs, and smiles. It lights the room.
“That’s perfect,” I say, not meaning to say it out loud.
“Do any of those work?”
“Yeah. Yes. They’ll work.” I breathe in but don’t look at my phone.
“What’s next? Suit?” Kellen nods toward the chair with his wardrobe bag but keeps his gaze locked on me.
I swallow and nod, my eyes darting to the privacy screen that we set up for changing purposes. He grabs his clothes and disappears behind the screen. I try not to picture him taking off his flannel shirt, his t-shirt, his pants, and his shoes.Standing there in his boxers, chest on display. Does he have more than a six pack? How many can a man possibly pack? All of those.
“Ava’s appointment today was with her oncologist,” he says from behind the screen.
The air freezes in my lungs. “Everything okay?” I manage to get out.
“It’s why I was late.” He pauses and the silence is intense. “Her appointment was in Denver. A routine annual checkup. It went well. I thought I’d be back in time for the photo session, but they were running behind.”
I swallow a lump in my throat. I’m fake dating Kellen for petty revenge on my father, and he’s fake dating to keep his family in Fort Collins near his daughter’s trusted doctors.
We are not the same.
Kellen steps out from behind the screen, and my heart skips a few beats. He’s got his suit pants on, a shirt buttoned halfway up, and a loose tie hung around his neck. The top of chiseled pecs peeks out along with a scattering of chest hair. He lays the wardrobe bag back on the chair.
“I’m so glad she’s okay. I’ve been thinking of you guys all day. I kind of thought it might be an important doctor’s appointment for you to miss practice and her to miss school.” I breathe in through my noise. “That must all be so hard.”
“I trust the children’s hospital in Denver.” He closes his eyes for a beat. “Her doctors. The specialists. I know there are good doctors everywhere, but I want to stay here.Wewant to stay.”
We being his family unit: Ava and Bri.
“I can understand that.” But do I? How can I understand something I’ve never been a part of? That kind of strong family anchor. Sure, I love my brother to bits, and my mom and I are close. But the determination to keep everyone together, even amidst a split or divorce… that’s different.
“I know if I got traded and had to move, they could stay here. I’d visit as much as possible.” Kellen’s gaze drifts to the ground. “But after what we lived through, I can’t do it. I couldn’t live with myself being away from Ava more than absolutely necessary.”
My gut twists for Kellen. It’s so intense. Having gone through something like that with your own child? It’s heart breaking.
